News and Insights

Yes, not one but two people this week entered therapy and blurted out, “I don’t believe in therapy, but my spouse made me.” I chuckled. This wasn’t the first time I had heard this, nor probably will it be the last, but this reminded me of me in 1989 when I attended my first counseling session. For me, I went to therapy due to debilitating anxiety and not wanting to take the medication...

“What’s the point?” said a client to me the other day. How about you? How many times have you felt like giving up? I have found that people with a history of things not going their way assume that everything in their life will go bad. But this doesn’t have to be the case. What is the point? Life may come down to this question: Do you give up, or do you keep pushing forward? This is what...

Thirty-two years. That’s how long I have been in this industry. It is hard to believe I lasted so long. You either sink or swim. I remember being fired for healing the clients too quickly at one facility in Malibu. Strange but true. Fortunately, it inspired me, and I vowed to open up my own residential treatment facility that, instead of blaming the clients for relapsing, I took an honest...

You’ve heard the statement, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” Instead, why not focus on the best thing that can happen? You see, when we focus on the worst things, we create the worst things. The flip side can bring to you your dreams — and it sure did for me. At Basic Steps Mental Health, we teach our participants how to focus on what they want. These “Ideal Scenes” help people...

Relationships take a lot of work to keep alive, fresh, and upbeat. You would think that falling in love was all that is needed, but to be honest, when two people connect, they bring with them their doubts, fears, and unresolved issues. Maneuvering through this can bring heartache if one doesn’t know the proper tools. For myself, relationships are complex. Since I have made all of the...

It had been 15 years since I was reunited with my paperwork from school. Like an ancient treasure that I vaguely remembered, all of the handouts we used at the University of Santa Monica lay before my grubby hands! I was over the moon with excitement because what lay before me changed me from a little boy to a man! I had a vacation home in the desert outside of Joshua Tree National Park and...

From time to time, I ask myself why I am withholding a lot of valuable information that was taught at the University of Santa Monica. Many of these techniques are ones I use daily in my practice and have helped thousands of people. Being in an almost trance-like state while counseling others has helped me survive an industry I have worked in for over 30 years, many of those years spent at...

Happy holidays to you and yours. I don’t know about you, but when the holidays come around, memories of the past come rushing to mind—both good and bad. Luckily, I have plenty of tools to support me through the old anger and hurt, and I try to hold onto the good memories for as long as I can. This is my 68th holiday, and what usually takes place at the onset of the holidays is my getting a...

If we treated ourselves with respect, the majority of our problems would improve. Even though this states the obvious, it is not as simple as it sounds. Why don’t you take the ultimate care of yourself? Is there not enough time? Would people judge you as selfish? Maybe you find it more fun drinking with your friends than growing? The biggest element of change is the desire to change. Going...

I learned, on my first day in graduate school, that I couldn’t fix people. Frustrated, I had to find another strategy to help myself feel better. At that time, emotionally, I felt broken and tried to win the hearts of people so they would not hurt me. You see, I came from years of childhood abuse, and deep down, I tried to protect myself from ever experiencing any type of abuse again. So I...