Self Help Tool | Free-Form Writing

Do people heal? This question was asked of me when I started working at a luxury treatment facility in Malibu. The nighttime supervisor only saw warehousing of clients and no recovery up to that point. My reply was, “Just watch.” Unfortunately, my clients were healing too quickly and this didn’t fit my boss’s treatment philosophy, so I was let go. I guess it is a bad business model to heal people in this industry and writing articles on helping people heal should be discouraged – well, at least this is according to what my old boss believed, but why am I in this industry? Not to be like him.

Yes, people heal, if they are given basic tools and strategies to do so. How do we heal? By applying love to our hurt. There are so many methods in which to do so, but the first step is by getting in touch with what is truly bothering us way down deep and I have discovered that Free Form Writing is a great tool in which to do so.

Free form writing is simple, just put pen to paper and write whatever comes to mind. For those who are into typing that works too, but for me, I like going old school, since it is very guttural jotting down whatever is present and allowing a stream of consciousness to point out what is really bothering you deep inside. You will be shocked by what comes to mind.

After you write out what is on your mind, rip it up and/or burn it. Do not reread this. Free-form writing helps you process your thoughts fully and rid yourself of them. If you were to re-read this, it will bring you back to that point in time and bring back all those old thoughts and feelings. Simply let it go. In the same vein, if you have old pictures that bring up bad feelings, rip them up or burn them too. I remember going through an old album of photos when I moved up here and kept getting triggered by many of the photos, so I burned them. Coming from L.A. we didn’t have the luxury of burning things, or if we did it was in a gas fireplace which didn’t lend itself to burning papers anyway. It seems like now I am making up for lost time. Spam mail has felt my wrath more than one time. So keep those cards and letters coming in.

 

Once you rid yourself of the free-form writing, if something is still bothering you, the real work begins. There are many strategies to rid yourself of unwanted memories. What is important to know is, you cannot think your way out of an emotional wound. Yep, you need to feel your way out of it. Emotional work is conducted under a different set of tools. My father used to say, don’t sweat the small stuff, or, count your blessings. The reason why these things didn’t help me was that they were the wrong tool for what I needed. I was hurt and didn’t need the lecture, I just wanted to feel better. In that case, a hug would have done a whole lot better. This is how we heal emotionally, by applying love to the part of you that went through the difficulty.

I remember falling off my bike when I was six years old and running to my mom for help. Mom used to kiss my boo as she cleaned it and bandaged it. In a sense, this is how we heal our emotions, we need to kiss our boo-boos. This is probably the last thing you thought you would be reading in a “how-to” article, but it is true.

There is a famous story of a woman who went to see Dr. Carl Rogers when he first opened his practice in New York City. He did the Dr. Phil approach and told her the top ten things she needed to do to feel better. She returned a few weeks later and told him she liked him but didn’t need his advice. She just needed to be heard. Sometimes that is all we need is just to be heard. Free form writing is our own process of listening to ourselves.

There are other strategies on applying love to hurt so stay tuned to future articles.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.