Holiday Story
Happy holidays to you and yours. I don’t know about you, but when the holidays come around, memories of the past come rushing to mind—both good and bad. Luckily, I have plenty of tools to support me through the old anger and hurt, and I try to hold onto the good memories for as long as I can. This is my 68th holiday, and what usually takes place at the onset of the holidays is my getting a...Learn More
So, You Want to Help People?
I learned, on my first day in graduate school, that I couldn’t fix people. Frustrated, I had to find another strategy to help myself feel better. At that time, emotionally, I felt broken and tried to win the hearts of people so they would not hurt me. You see, I came from years of childhood abuse, and deep down, I tried to protect myself from ever experiencing any type of abuse again. So I...Learn More
12 Steps vs Spiritual Psychology
When somebody remarked in group that our program is not the 12 Steps, a fire was ignited. And no, it is not. When I was admitted into graduate school, I had been working at a 12-Step facility for years and quickly learned that this was the real thing. This is not to say that the 12 Steps are horrible and that people don’t heal and grow from its application, but being a brash young man, I...Learn More
Trauma Treatment
Trauma treatment needs to be handled carefully, or a person can be re-traumatized again and again. This has been happening to a person I am treating in family therapy, by their personal counselor. The old models of healing trauma can cause more trauma because, in an approach named Gestalt therapy, a patient is asked to relive the situation from as many angles as possible. Regression is a...Learn More
Am I Burning Out?
I had a first-of-its-kind week — every session was filled! In fact, even our IOP program was at maximum capacity. Because of this, I am exhausted. Running a facility is interesting. I am, first and foremost, a counselor and have done this for 30 years. I know what I am doing in this regard and feel I am very good at it. But running a company? That’s where I am a novice. I have surrounded...Learn More
Try These Psychological Tools
Do you know how to calm yourself naturally? We live in a fast-paced society and want quick results but the quick fix may not be that beneficial for you. I knew I was doing damage to myself when using substances, but somehow I forced myself to make a stand and fundamentally heal. To be honest, this was probably the greatest gift I ever gave to myself and I readily share what I have learned...Learn More
Managing a Crisis
When situations are too much to handle, it is natural to feel overwhelmed, shut down, panic, and regress to a childish state. If you ever have felt like this before you are not alone – one out of five people suffer from conditions that warrant serious treatment, but how many actually get the help they need? I worked at the first Mental Health Urgent Care center in this country, where...Learn More
Out of Control
We have no control over anything. Not our children, the dog, people at work, or the neighbors that are driving you crazy. This is because each person is in control of themselves. We have a very powerful mind and our mind determines our actions “and” nobody has access to another person’s inner workings but themselves. Let’s imagine your best mate does something upsetting. “You are making...Learn More
Limiting Beliefs
Just before I began writing, something upsetting happened that got me upset. This happened because my expectations weren’t met. It’s hard to admit that I reacted like a spoiled child, but it is true. I had just gotten back from a great week of recovery work in Los Angeles, due to all the fires, and as the plane landed in SeaTac I guess all my maturity was left on the tarmac. And thus, as...Learn More