Can an Addiction be Good?

What is an addiction? An addiction is something that you are compelled to do and find it almost impossible to stop. I know this isn’t the clinical definition, but this explanation is easy to understand in layman’s terms. It might be surprising to read that not all addictions are bad. Addiction to exercise, healthy diet, personal growth work, and helping out humanity definitely help both you and others, though at the extreme, as in most things, even the great things in life can be detrimental.

One of my addictions just ended, leaving me to scramble for the next. Without anything that brings enjoyment to life, basically makes it rather dull. I am referring to my addiction to March Madness. My personal belief that college basketball is more exciting than the pros caught me making this addiction more important than my own diet and exercise plan. At one point I even considered doing an intervention on myself.

So what happens when any kind of addiction becomes out of hand? Normally a person will want to make a change, try to make the change, fail, talk about it with a loved one, get advice, try that, fail, and then feel hopeless and continue the addiction. In AA they believe you will continue to do the addiction until you hit rock bottom, thereby getting the motivation to change, and then are willing to take in the counsel of others. Unfortunately, many have such low bottoms that they die and as a therapist I’ve ended up counseling people with life threatening ailments that wouldn’t heal. Too little too late. Before it gets to this stage it is important to reach out for professional help because many loved ones haven’t been trained to help you work past your addiction.  

To take the mystery out of the process of treatment, therapists need to at first make a diagnosis of how you are physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. There is an ASAM form we fill out that asks a person questions in each of these areas. Next a treatment plan is devised by the client and therapist about what it is the client wants to get out of treatment. Just so you know, treatment isn’t only about stopping the addiction (the physical behavior) but it also entails dealing with your thoughts and feelings that are intertwined. Why are you compelled to repeat the addiction? There is a lot of dynamics underneath the surface that needs to be processed through to make a full on change. If you only treat the addiction, underlying issues generally come to the surface causing a lot of upset and negativity and relapse is a certainty.

What is important in therapy is creating a trusting bond with the therapist. Shopping for the best fit is so important. You know when you meet somebody and they give you the willies. If you don’t feel comfortable with the therapist or the staff then it will be difficult to open up and be vulnerable, which is an essential part in treatment. When people feel safe enough to do this, they are amazed on what bubbles up from inside of them, and the unknown piece to their healing becomes apparent. In fact, Dr. Fritz Perls, the innovator of Gestalt Therapy called this “The Ah Ha moment”.

For an addiction to be detrimental it must impair your work, social, or other responsibilities. If the addiction is more important than taking care of your own physical needs, then therapy is essential. The habit won’t go away on its own. If fun or sugar or whatever is more important than your life, it is time to take an honest look at that.

What is your addiction? Good or bad? Is that thing more important than your wellbeing? Would you be willing to make a change? And look at that statement. “Would you be willing?” Just because you showed up for treatment doesn’t mean that you will change. So people waste hundreds of thousands of dollars going to treatment to learn about what other people do to heal but never truly make the commitment to change themselves. I learned through my own treatment that I had to give myself permission to stop using drugs and start living my life.

There are many ways to treat an addiction if that is your true intention. The Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) approach treats the inner aspects of your personality that takes over and runs the show. These aspects include:  The addict aspect, being right, being in control, being judgmental, and even self-sabotage. Why do these aspects take control over us? In this psychological approach, you learn to take dominance over the aspect that is running you down a dead-end path.

Another way to treat this is through the Child – Adult – Parent Paradigm. Which part of your personality is running the show? If your child self is, then life is all about pleasure where drinking, food binging, sweets, sex, ect. becomes paramount. Learning how to be more adult and parenting this aspect of the personality becomes the key.  

In what I practice, Spiritual Psychology, we look at problems as a blessing. When you solve the problem, you grow in consciousness. Repeating problems are the big focus in treatment because if you don’t solve the problem, it keeps on returning. How many times do you want to go through the same issue? How many lifetimes? This soul centered approach is new, innovative, and gives real meaning to working past problems.

When you have an addictive habit that you just can’t shake it is important to focus not on stopping the addiction, but focusing on what you would do without the addiction. When you focus on not using, the subconscious mind doesn’t hear the word “not”. Instead, it hears – in this case – “using”. Okay, so if you weren’t using, what would you be doing? 

Is stopping any type of addiction? Of course not. The brain wires itself to support the habit and it becomes your normal. Doing the opposite of the habit takes repetition and effort to establish a new, more healthy habit. Let me tell you, stopping my addiction to substances was the hardest thing I ever did. Focusing on remaining sober made me pace the floor, go on midnight walks in a shady area in the city. But, staying at home was not good for me, so exercise became the new addiction.

I was sharing in group the other day the top 50 approaches to treatment and would you believe that shock therapy is up in the top 20! Yep. People get an electric charge that is paired with using a substance and the odds are high that you stop it. Remaining sober is the key and therapy is also encouraged. Group therapy is in the top ten because of the social support. It is difficult getting sober on your own a group tends to push each other and it is nice knowing that someone else has your back. Behavioral therapy like what is conducted with the 12 Step approach is toward the back of the pack. Now I worked in 12 Step recovery for six years and saw a lot of recovery, but also saw a lot of relapse. The 12 Steps were created in the 1930’s and at the time it was incredible! Daily meetings, sharing it with others, making amends, and claiming you are powerless made an impact. 90 years later psychotherapy has had so many innovations that the combination of AA with psychotherapy is showing better results.

When it comes to laying an addiction to rest, it is important to befriend yourself. Even if you continue to smoke cigarettes or eat sugar, befriend yourself with each puff and every swallow. We believe that the process of loving oneself makes us more mindful and it is easier to let go of that habit.

When it comes to full on dependence where you will detox if you suddenly stop, please seek medical help. Suddenly stopping may kill you. This isn’t anything to play with. Once this substance is out of your system, it is important to put in medication that is a deterrent to using, which eases the cravings. Then it is time to undergo therapy. This new physical change needs to be supported mentally and emotionally.  

I was fortunate. Many of my using buddies didn’t fair too well. I could have easily been stuck in that lifestyle. This is why I am so grateful that I can help others kick the habits that I kicked. I am not saying that I am addiction free. I love my sugar, binging on television shows, and getting my 10,000 steps in a day, and above all my addiction to the Los Angeles Dodgers – sorry Mariners fans. The ultimate would be Seattle and L.A. in the World Series so step it up Mariners, at least you have a Seager on your team.  

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.