Reframing is a major tool that helps to keep me centered. Reframing is basically looking at a situation that may be bad and putting a positive twist on it. In school, they told us that Reframing is basically seeing a problem as a blessing for learning and growth. Can you think back to a situation or event that was painful when it happened, but as you view it now, it was perfect for your development?

Here’s an example of how I recently used Reframing myself:

My roommate recently moved out while I was out of the country and assured me the house would be left spotless. They were going to hire a cleaning crew and deep clean everything. Well, after 11 hours of flying, I arrived at home to find piles of trash outside the door. I cringed upon opening the door and found more piles of items and filth. What awaited me was a note explaining that the cleaning crew was cancelled and they were too tired to finish cleaning.

My reframe was – I at least got my whole house to myself.

Yes, reframing is looking at the positives. Why? Because getting angry and upset only harms my health, my attitude, and others that subsequently interact with me.

We learned many expressions in school. One being: “High involvement and low attachment to the results.” I am highly involved to what I, myself can do, and have learned to let go of my attachment to others following through on their commitments. I cannot make others follow the same rules I live my life by, nor be affected by reading The Four Agreements and following the first agreement in being “Impeccable with your word.” Did I anticipate the home being cleaned and them living by their word? Not really. The past history I had with this person told me that it would be a miracle if they did. This is the low attachment.

While I took care of my own home – for the first time in six years, reframing was all I used. Each pile I walked down to the trash bins, I took the opportunity to reframe it as clearing out the old and paving the way for the new. With each spill that I mopped up, carpet I vacuumed, stain I washed from the walls, and dish that I cleaned and placed in the cupboards, I reframed this as well. However, when it came to the refrigerator, well, I had to work extra hard at keeping my center, though when whatever red pool that was at the bottom of the fridge was cleaned and a brilliant white appliance shinned, I felt proud. Suddenly I had reclaimed my home and felt at peace.  

When you understand the benefits of keeping your mind positive and at peace other areas in your life seem to improve. The business has been in demand, more people are in our IOP program, and I get to see more and more miracles taking place there. All because I took the effort to change a bad situation into something good and instead of frustration, kept myself laughing, upbeat, and involved. A byproduct of this was simply getting into the clean up mode. Oh yes, whenever I get started at cleaning, I simply can’t stop. I tackled even the ceiling dust bunnies, which I couldn’t believe were so abundant. This was because I was cleaning up for me.

According to Albert Ellis, from Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), an event takes place, and it goes into our mind where the EGO grapples with it. The EGO decides if whatever is taking place is a good or bad thing and then plots the next step. If the resulting behavior has bad consequences, we need to change the way we think about the event and try a different approach. Reframing is basically this process.

Muscle Testing needs to be mentioned as well. It is a process we show participants that proves that negative thinking makes us weaker. In Muscle Testing, someone holds their arm up, they are asked to think negative thoughts, and then their arm is tested to see their strength level. Next, we ask the person to think positive thoughts and it normally results in people being much stronger. Candice Pert got her Nobel Prize for proving that the body not only is stronger when we think positively, but it also slows down the aging process and improves digestion. So why would I not reframe problems as blessings? I am literally damaging myself when I am angry and thinking negatively. Try this out on a loved one.

Let’s be honest. There are lots of opportunities in life, from home to work, to even shopping, where we can get upset. Shoot, what about driving? If you allow yourself to get upset, this is only affecting you.

I recall driving my brother-in-law somewhere and somebody cut in front of us and I shrugged my shoulders. He was shocked I didn’t get angry like my sister did. I simply told him that I too have done that move when I was in a hurry so why would I complain about somebody else doing the same thing?

Hope this helps.