Befriending Anxiety

This is a subject I hold true to my heart. This is what brought me to therapy and this road I am currently on. Is anxiety bad? No, far from it. Anxiety alerts the system that something is wrong. Anxiety is a great teacher if you are willing to learn from it. Oh yes, our society tries to shut anxiety down. Drinking, other substances, and even Psychiatric medicine can numb its call, but if you avoid it you fail to grow. 

Growing from anxiety? How absurd. But listen to this, if we didn’t have anxiety we would never take action on many of life’s crucial tasks AND our own self-care is number one.

Let’s have a check-in right now.

How are you doing physically? Are you eating right, avoiding the wrong food, maintaining your weight, exercising, and getting the proper rest? Are you taking care of your medical and dental needs? Check inside for the truth. Often, we make believe we are caring for ourselves but actually not adhering to that diet, drinking too much, and burning the candle on both ends.

How are you doing mentally? Do your positive thoughts outweigh the negatives? Do you sit in judgment of yourself and others? Do you have to be right? Do you focus on what is the worst thing that can happen?

How about emotionally? Well obviously if you are reading an article about the anxiety you may be suffering from it. Are you afraid? Do you lack trust in yourself and others? Do you feel like you operate at a younger emotional age? Do you find yourself angry and looking for a fight? Do you feel hopeless, helpless, and worthless? When we shut down our anger and hurt we are stuck smack dab in the middle of anxiety. Compressed we get panic! Well that’s not fun, is it?

If you haven’t experienced a panic attack it can feel like you are having a heart attack. Everything feels unreal as your heart races and your body feels pale. Take in a breath, exhale, and let go of that vision. There is good news ahead.

I’ve learned many strategies personally to work with my anxiety and the first step is to simply slow down. Stop what you are doing and focus on breathing. Take a pause and focus on centering yourself in calm and peace. Drink some water and let the emotions flow through you. If you are scheduled to do something right now, see if you can delay it or push it back. Your life is more important than finishing the report at work or for school. Breathe. Relax your shoulders and other areas in your body that you feel any tension. The areas to focus on are your face, hands, legs, and feet. Breathe in relaxation and exhale tension.

When the first wave is over ask yourself why you are anxious. If the answer doesn’t come, grab some paper and talk about your fear. Allow your opposite hand to represent it as you communicate with your dominant hand.

Example:

Me: Anxiety. What are you trying to tell me?

Anxiety: I am overwhelmed right now. You are making me too busy, I’ve got too much on my plate and we haven’t had a vacation in a couple of years right now. I feel stuck inside because of Covid. I fear I am going to get it and die. I am trapped and I hate being like a robot.

These conversations can be lengthy and if it doesn’t flow smoothly at first, be patient, it will. There is some getting used to writing with the opposite hand anyway. You can use this technique to have a conversation with somebody that has bothered you and made you afraid. Because they hold the pen in the left hand you get to be more powerful. Make sure to say the last word. Then rip this up and release it!

Another good method is simply relaxing. Lay on your bed and starting from your feet focus on relaxing every part of your body. Dim the lights and put on some meditation music that can be found on YouTube. Just breathe and relax. If any thoughts come into your mind, view them and let them go. If they remain, jot it down and take care of it later. Right now you are more important than the task.

There are dietary supplements and whole foods that are a plus to eat for anxiety. Anxiety may result from a poor diet and you can actually heal through eating whole foods. Water, diet, relaxation, and exercise top the list. If I fail to get my walking in, my blood pressure increases. Make it a little strenuous but follow your doctor’s orders.

To be honest, we are very wise and down deep know what is bothering us. If we don’t deal with it, anxiety has a way of getting your attention. The stronger the anxiety the more avoidant you have been with yourself so please listen to what anxiety has to say to you. For those who get extreme anxiety, you’ll need to befriend it and then ask it to give you messages in a calmer method. Once this is committed to, keep your end of the bargain by following through on your responsibilities, if not anxiety will probably rear its ugly head.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.