The Emotional Bank Account
Whether you are in a good or bad relationship, it is important to know about the emotional bank account. I ask you, in your current relationship are you making deposits or withdrawals? Healthier relationships tend to have more of a positive balance. What are deposits into the bank account? A deposit could be simply avoiding your cell phone or an incoming call and focusing on being with your...Learn More
Dad’s Memorial
A rainbow followed me as I drove to work this morning. The morning before my father’s memorial celebration. He lived a good 90 years and seemed to have a good life. I came to love my father after the rocky start of his abuse in my younger years. Because of this I went through extensive therapy and was then able to confront him as an adult. From that moment we began to build a wonderful...Learn More
What is Therapy?
With our influx of new clients recently, I’ve found myself explaining what the process of therapy is. It seems that for so long people have sluffed it off, avoided it, realized their problems were not going away on their own and needed some assistance. I recall thinking that I was weak for going into therapy, and lost the fight in trying to help myself. I feel for that younger me who meekly...Learn More
How to Change Others
So you want to learn how to change other people, but why? If they change to how you want them to be, would that make you feel better? If they said I’m sorry, would it make your problems go away? So many go to great lengths to change others, to make them love you, respect you, or simply to stop bothering you. I have some bad news for you – you can’t change them, that is their job. Many people...Learn More
Relationship with You
Our relationships reflect back to our relationship with ourselves. This is what Sigmund Freud wrote about in the 1890s. He coined the term “Projections”. Since the film projector just came out, he could see somebody projecting all of their negativity onto another person – the screen. My dad always said, “When you point your finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back to you.” If you...Learn More
Relationship Rescue
Unfortunately, we were never taught in school how to keep a relationship healthy. As with most mental health-related issues, we learned usually how to fix things by mimicking how our parents did things. If you came from a healthy home, no doubt the odds are you will be healthy in a relationship, but that doesn’t have a bearing on your partner. Paying close attention to what kind of environment...Learn More
The Blank – How Am I with Myself?
It finally happened! After years and years of writing articles, I am finally blank. Who knew? My past program clients would be in shock because after four weeks of treatment I still had things to discuss. When I was in graduate school, we used to counsel one another. By the time we graduated, we were pretty seasoned therapists and clients. Session after session, there was always something to...Learn More
Are You Surviving or Thriving?
After 28 years in the industry, I often reassess myself. This is a periodic check-in to see how I am doing. Currently very happy but why? And honestly, the answer is staying active. When I have a purpose, I do well. But this is just me. Recovery of any type is not a one size fits all. Each person is so unique that what works for one person will not for another. Thus, the personal check-in. How...Learn More
Changing for the Better
This article should be entitled personal responsibility since in changing ourselves, it has to be done by ourselves. So often people want to have others swoop in and rescue them because we feel it is their fault, they are making me feel this way, when the truth is, it is all about us. In taking personal responsibility, we are no longer victims of what others do or say. In all actuality, it is...Learn More