It was inevitable that I’d write about the legal system. Doing Mental Health and Substance Use Evaluations for court proceedings pits one genre against another. The courts try to decide what is right or wrong, but according to Spiritual Psychology, there is no right or wrong—only learning. How do I survive my interactions with the legal system when I tend to lean toward the learning side?

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” – Rumi

Can’t I just hang out in that field?

Believing that there is no right or wrong brought up a lot of frustration and anger in me when I learned it. Growing up in a family whose motto was, “Do the right thing,” if you were wrong, you were punished—which meant being sent to your room, an occasional smack to the ass, being grounded, or your rights being taken away for a certain amount of time. In a nutshell, my family acted like a legal system. No wonder my sister married a lawyer. Then there was me. I was the sort that questioned all the rules and authority, used to do illegal things to earn a wage, and now I testify in court like some upstanding citizen—which I guess I really am, at least for the past 40 years.

That rebel, however, is still deep inside of me, and as I assess people who are having legal trouble, I hit up against that rebel from time to time. I will ask myself, why is this person really in front of me? Having that spiritual viewpoint, I wonder, why would God have a person go through their situation? And yes, Spiritual Psychology believes that what we are dealing with is ordained—or set up by God to help us learn and grow at the soul level. But how do I explain this matter to the courts?

Why do people go through the problems they are facing? Even on the psychological level, there are natural consequences to our behaviors. If people don’t suffer the consequences of their problematic behaviors, their wrong behavior is rewarded and then repeated by them. The court has its system of consequences that are well known; however, the spiritual consequences are having that problem show up over and over again. How many years, how many lifetimes do you want to keep dealing with that same old issue? The legal system can only lock you up; psychology gives you an out if you are willing to face the problem head-on and deal with it. The way therapists have you deal with your issues depends on their character and training. Spiritual Psychology is the easiest because the model is applying love to hurt.

Custody cases have been a beast for me to deal with because, bottom line, right versus wrong doesn’t consider the children. Plus, people lie to win. Plus, lawyers and other court-appointed personnel can be corrupt. I’ve seen it firsthand while testifying under oath. People flat-out lie to win. So, when they get full custody of the children who would rather stay with the loving parent, will that in the long run help them? To me, they are creating more pain and agony by being the victor in something they have limited skills to deal with.

Decisions in court are often made without children’s input. If a child is over the age of 8, their brain has developed enough to understand right and wrong, and their words should be taken into consideration. Now, I have to admit that I have only had maybe a dozen family law cases in which I had to make an assessment, but already I have seen the tendency for the court to make snap decisions and not consider all of the evidence. When children are involved in a divorce, a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) is used to give the children a voice. Their job is to provide an overall picture of each parent, interview the kids on a regular basis, observe how each parent interacts with the children, and give their recommendations. In theory, that works very well. However, I have witnessed certain GALs slandering one spouse, siding with the other, and not considering evidence. The old right-versus-wrong part inside of me gets tested every time this happens, because when it comes to children, I will do everything to keep them safe.

Before I moved up to the Seattle area from Southern California, my job was to place people on 5150 Holds—basically sending them to psychiatric hospitals for 72 hours for evaluation and medication management. I also made Child Protection Services (CPS) evaluations when I suspected childhood abuse. So, I have a long history of trying to protect children but often wonder if the courts up here have the same perspective. Though that may seem crass and judgmental, this statement shows that I do care. I would like court determinations to consider all the evidence, take into account whether people are following the dictates of the court, and review progress reports by us professionals to see if any effort is being made to complete the mandates. The old right/wrong part of me stirs when lies are told, mandates are not completed, and there are no penalties for these infractions.

As you can see, it is an interesting balancing act for me to not do the right-versus-wrong thing that I was weaned on as a child and to be in my spiritual center that sees each person going through things they need to for the evolution of their soul. I will often counsel people who are dealing with legal matters, sometimes mandated by the courts, sometimes as a volunteer. My job is to help them heal and grow from the situation. Hey, they got themselves in this situation for some reason, so why not have them look at their part, see why this is happening to them, help them process through that, and hopefully heal and grow. But why does the court side with the abusing spouse and make the benevolent spouse crawl?

Including spirituality in the legal procedure is actually fun for me. I learned that Light dispels the Darkness. This means if people can remain centered in their loving heart while negativity gets flung at them, they are protected and safe. The character attacks I have heard are heart-wrenching. It seems that you are guilty until proven innocent. In my assessments, I am given evidence, and I use the evidence. The hearsay I toss to the side, make a mention of it, but base my decisions only on the facts. Am I unique?

What I am supposed to do in my assessments is give a history of a person, find out their part in the situations, recommend treatment for them to process through their thoughts and behaviors, and often provide the treatment that I recommend. And yes, it is difficult for me to recommend treatment because something mandated by the legal system is binding and not a choice of the person. This is why, each step of the way in the assessment, I communicate with the person, share my feelings, highlight their part in the situation, and work together with them to find a common solution. Of course, there are many who don’t want to do anything at all, and it gets difficult for me to hold my ground. Because of their testimony to me, there have to be some consequences, and eventually they come around to my point of view—but not always. I am here to help them, try to show this, and hate when I need to be firm. Why this came with the job, only God knows. What I do know is that in doing these legal assessments, I have healed a lot, so I guess I will continue to do them.

In my own therapy, I have come to the conclusion that these situations have come to be for the evolution of a person. Whether they get everything they want in the case is not my main focus, but how they are reacting to it. Above all, the main focus is their relationship with themselves and others. With a spirituality lens, each problem is an invitation to learning and growth on the spiritual level. This begs the question: Why are we here? Is there a God? Is God working in my life? What happens after we die? These “existential problems” are real because we don’t live forever, and if we have no spiritual beliefs, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks can result. Why do you think I entered counseling in the first place?

Do I recommend the best possible treatment to the people I assess? No. I am put in a difficult situation because everyone wants the easy way out, there are financial considerations to take into account, and there are time considerations when work and child care are in the mix. Often, people are so abused by the legal system that they have gone through mandated treatment so many times they are numb. Me personally, I’d have everybody go through my IOP program because so many have praised the results they have found. But treatment for the majority of these people was chosen. And who wants someone to tell them what to do? Oh, there are a lot of people who have been court-ordered and get tons out of the program, but that is a tribute to them—they decided to take the ball and run with it.

My program was taken from the University of Santa Monica and was the curriculum we students went through—and we all healed. So, teaching people how to be their own counselor and the self-counseling method, in which a person literally is both client and counselor, is nowhere to be found in the mental health industry. Yes, I wanted to do this type of treatment for long-term success. Have I seen long-term success? Oh, you bet I have. I love hearing from clients I have treated decades before, who just want to check in and give status reports. Why do you think I keep coming back?

All in all, I feel like I am a teacher of psychology. I guess the steroids in my approach are the spirituality. And you can only imagine that when I hear clients tell me that during the legal procedures they were able to stay “in the Light” and felt confident, strong, and happy, I have done my job to prepare them to succeed.

I treat professionals, like nurses and airplane pilots, and if they get popped for legal matters, I am the one who can help. One professional, a few years ago, was preparing for the court’s final decision the following week. She was under the influence and had a few physical altercations one difficult night in her life. Her license would be pulled if she lost. We created an “Ideal Scene,” which basically had her focus on every element in the case that would be incredible. The next week, she returned in shock! The case was closed, but she had to be on probation for only a year. We looked at her Ideal Scene, and everything she mapped out came true!

I have to admit there is some special magic to Spiritual Psychology. What you see is what you’ll be. That has helped this practice come to be. (Hey, that rhymes.)

Try this on for size. Jot down what you would like in a particular area of your life: home, relationship, work, etc. Next, see yourself winning. In the above example, my client jotted down everything she wanted in the legal case, especially how she wanted to feel during the court proceedings. Once you complete this “Ideal Scene,” review it however often you want, but especially on the day of the case if it is a legal scene—then simply show up and allow God to work His/Her magic.

In conclusion, the courts will always be the courts, and I have learned not to fight it. Psychology will be psychology too, focusing on the health of a person, regardless of what they have done. The real question is—will they repeat the limiting behaviors? With education, an open ear, and a loving heart, we counselors can help a person let go of their limitations and lead a happier and more functional life.