What is Therapy?

With our influx of new clients recently, I’ve found myself explaining what the process of therapy is. It seems that for so long people have sluffed it off, avoided it, realized their problems were not going away on their own and needed some assistance. I recall thinking that I was weak for going into therapy, and lost the fight in trying to help myself. I feel for that younger me who meekly walked into the therapist’s office, defeated. Fear not, going to therapy doesn’t mean you are weak, it means that you are strong enough to face yourself and find something that is different, eye-opening, and can effectively help you get back in control of you.

I’ve always thought that therapy is great for everyone, simply because it gives you the opportunity to get some things off your chest, talk to a neutral person who will not use the information against you, and seemingly cares. Though therapy is much more than a person simply venting, it is learning a process of letting go of limiting thoughts, behaviors, and pent-up trauma that has been warehoused deep inside.

Psychology is the science of relationships. My Marriage and Family Therapy License focuses on the relationships between people. Psychology actually in my mind deals with the relationship a person has with themselves since that relationship is reflected in the relationships we have with others. Therefore, the first priority in therapy is establishing a good working relationship with yourself. Oh, I have heard people try to convince themselves in sessions that they love themselves. In therapy, you don’t have to convince your therapist that you are amazing and have this wonderful relationship within, that will plainly be seen by a trained professional. Therapy is really the process of people getting to know themselves at a deep level and even liking the dirt that has been hidden away.

I think what I love the most about therapy is the freedom it gives a client to simply talk about themselves. At first, the surface stuff comes out because it is familiar and blocks what is underneath the surface. Then the real stuff comes out, the fears, the hopes, the tragedies, and the items that have been hidden for a long time. For me, it was scary but freeing. I deluded myself that my childhood was amazing! In fact, many parts were, then the unamazing things came out, like the abuse I went through and the abuse I watched my best friend go through right in front of me. That abuse gets stuck inside of us and on some level, we hold that in, try to protect it, and it leads us to being guarded in our adult lives.

The good news is there is therapy. And who wouldn’t gain from learning simple tools that improve our relationship with ourselves and our relationships with others?

To begin therapy a treatment plan needs to be developed, meaning, you get to discuss with the therapist what you are trying to achieve. For example, if you have problems with anxiety the plan would be for you to become calm and at peace. If you struggle with addiction the plan would be for you to become substance free for the long haul. Consider this: If you are struggling with addiction and the plan is to find a way in which to continue to use, look at that. Here is a substance that has been causing problems and do you really want to play around with that? I for one loved using, back in the day. I hated the thought of giving it up, but I was at least realistic enough to know that my life was out of control and that was the first step I needed to take in order to create some sense of normalcy in my life. Four months later I realized that I never wanted to use again. Yes, the guy that was always high and loved it, loved the natural high even more. Who knew?

 

 

Once the plan is set, then the sessions begin. How often? How long? These questions are answered at the onset of treatment. At first, an assessment by the therapist is conducted that takes your history, and lets them know your symptoms, for how long have you suffered, what has helped you feel better in the past, and the severity of the symptoms. If you are trying to skimp on the payments, please don’t, this is only detrimental to yourself. If you choose an inferior type of therapy to save a few dollars, look at the message you are telling yourself. Treat yourself with dignity and care for yourself properly. No, this doesn’t mean that the more expensive treatment is better, far from that. I worked at a luxury residential treatment facility in Malibu that had no program but was a glorified hotel that transported the clients to and from AA meetings. Why do you think I opened my own residential program up here in Washington? It was to do treatment right and teach people real skills on addressing problems that have been stored deep inside of them for sometimes decades!

Basically, therapy is conducted once a week and I have seen good results in people in eight sessions. This doesn’t mean that therapy needs to stop. Once these tools are learned and used, it is important to keep using them. Sometimes people back off therapy to every other week, others may need to step things up and go into the Intensive Outpatient program that runs three days a week for three hours a visit. This IOP program lasts for four weeks and you learn how to be your own counselor.

Learning the skills counselors learn has incredible benefits. Then throughout your life, you have a great counselor always at hand – you. What is taught in these sessions is what was taught in my graduate school where all of us students were practicing them on each other and everyone was healing! I definitely miss that school, so I guess I’ve recreated it in our program.

I’ve had some people I’ve only seen once. I’ve had some people I’ve seen for a few years. For the long haulers, they tell me it is important to have the support of someone that cares, who reminds them of the tools to use, and also keeps them accountable to themselves. When you first begin treatment, don’t worry about how long you are going, just focus on learning the tools, applying them, and moving forward in your life.

One last thing that is important to mention is your involvement. Understand one thing, the therapist isn’t there to fix you. That is not our job. Ours is to teach you tools, care about you, and provide you with support. It is your job to fix yourself, period. My favorite clients use the tools as prescribed, do some research online about the approaches that are taught so they could get a better understanding of them, and involve themselves in their own healing.

I had one man who entered treatment wanting to use CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I use this approach as well as ten others. Yes, my approach is called eclectic. So, we started looking at his thinking patterns, and then we began to move on to his emotions, and then spirituality was addressed because he had some confusion. This person soon worked through a lifetime issue with religion being thrown at him, began embracing it, and began to teach me about his beliefs which were eye-opening! He told me the sessions began with his mind and ended with his soul.

Understand that my therapy doesn’t thrust people into a religious belief at all. My therapy is client driven. If you want to go there, I will be along for the ride and enjoying every moment of it, because I too am on my own journey and learn a hell of a lot as a helper.

If you have additional questions, please don’t hesitate to give us a call.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry. We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.