The Blank – How Am I with Myself?

It finally happened! After years and years of writing articles, I am finally blank. Who knew? My past program clients would be in shock because after four weeks of treatment I still had things to discuss.

When I was in graduate school, we used to counsel one another. By the time we graduated, we were pretty seasoned therapists and clients. Session after session, there was always something to chat about, but occasionally the blank would show up. During these times I would feel like I had nothing to work on. This was when the extra box of Kleenex was brought out because during those sessions something phenomenal would bubble to the surface.  

Usually, when I feel blank, I will take out some paper and just write down whatever comes to mind. Half of the time I will simply write about the frustration I am feeling with having nothing to work on. The frustration itself has sparked a lot of emotions and led me to areas within myself that had laid dormant for years.

Psychology has many fronts. First of all, it is the science of relationships. I like to focus on the relationship a person has with themselves. It also has a lot to do with the subconscious mind. Many approaches were created to bring the subconscious to the conscious and many of the older approaches believed that that was healing in itself. Well, later it was proved that this can retraumatize somebody by having them relive something that they would better forget. It is submerging our problems that cause depression. We are taking energy to depress it down, which often zaps our strength. In doing therapy or the free form writing discussed above, it gives these memories an escape. Then, with spiritual psychology, we incorporate applying love to the part inside of you that went through that experience.

So yeah, the blank. Is the blank bad? Not necessarily. Sometimes blanking out is important. If our brains churned away all of the time, we wouldn’t find any peace. I chuckle at remembering the time decades ago when my fiancé at the time asked me what was on my mind. I had been in the midst of a blank and was just taking in everything around me. I replied to her, “Nothing.” This was hard for her to accept. She couldn’t accept that I didn’t have anything going on in my head because hers never stopped!

Instead of forcing myself to come up with wise statements, facts, and figures in this article, why not just write about the blank. Wayne Dyer wrote a whole book called, “In the Gap,” where he talked about the gap between words. He believed this was where God existed. I guess for him, the blank is a spiritual experience. As for me, it is just a blank, nothing else.

I have worked hard to discover the person I am underneath all the habits, the thinking, the to-do lists, and the part that dwells on both future and past. With all that nonsense gone, I am there. Now the question is, in the blank, how am I with myself?

The main slogan of spiritual psychology is, “The real issue is not your issue, the real issue is how you are with yourself, as you go through your issue.” Of course, that is a mouthful, but broken down, whatever we face, the real issue is how we are with ourselves as we face it.

I am reminded of a time I got a phone call from a woman I started dating years ago. Her car broke down in the middle of one of the busiest streets in Los Angeles and she laughed as she told me her fate. I blurted out, “Marry me.” I knew that in a crisis, she was able to find humor in it and I wanted my partner to have this skill. And yes, we were together for almost ten years.

Once again, I am blanking again, and thank you for going on this adventure with me. Years ago, I went through a seminar and the facilitator asked us if we were human doings or human beings. It was an enlightening question. Do I have to keep busy and do things constantly? Or, can I just be? Now, I counsel people who only judge their worth in their accomplishments, and trust me, this can only go so far. I worked at a luxury residential treatment program in Malibu for years and treated some of the richest and most influential people in the country. Yes, they had it all on one level, but why were they drug addicts, mentally ill, and trying to kill themselves? In school, we talked about the goal line versus the learning (or loving) line. The goal line is obvious, having money, possessions, fame, etc. But we can have all that and still be miserable. The learning or loving line refers to what we are learning as we pursue our goals, it pertains to how we are feeling too. Are we happy, enjoying life, in a good place internally with ourselves and with others? Yes, you can have it all but not feel fulfilled.

Our professor said we can be spiritual on the mountaintop, but the real issue is bringing that spirituality with us while we are in the valley.

See what happens with me. Even talking about the blank, brought something out. So, I guess in conclusion, it is alright to be blank, enjoy the blank, and just go with wherever the blank leads you.  

May the blank be with you.  

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.