How Do We Heal?

How do we heal? What an interesting topic. Do you know? I have devoted my life to showing people how to, in the way I was trained to do so in school, but is that the only way? If you are looking for treatment the first question to ask a potential therapist is what is their theory on healing.

Healing. Do people really heal? A coworker asked me that the first week I was working at a luxury residential program in Malibu. He had seen people stay hostage there for months and never improve. I told him, “Just watch”. Okay, so I was a bit arrogant back in my early days.

Conventional Psychology has focused on bringing the subconscious material to the surface with various approaches. The feeling was if people knew why they were screwed up this would help. In all actuality, this can trigger people and have them relive the problems that they went through. Bringing issues to the surface is the first step, but with Spiritual Psychology, this is where the healing starts.

“When love is applied to hurt, we heal”, is the slogan of the Spiritual Psychology approach. The hurt part is basically the part of us that went through the original issue. According to Gestalt Therapy, it is called “Unfinished Business”. When traumatized a portion of us gets stuck there, now at the surface, a loving interaction with that younger part is all that is needed.

This approach is radical! Never before in Psychology had taken place until the conception of the approach in the mid-1980s. Love applied to hurt is logical, however. Didn’t mommy kiss your boo-boo when you got hurt? If not, then therapy can be the key. It is logical because that hurting part is isolated, scared, and stuck there for sometimes decades. We ask people to take a current emotion, ride it back in time to where it originally started, and apply love to that part. In doing so, every similar circumstance will heal. That is because Spiritual Psychology is not a coping strategy but a healing one.

Love applied to hurt, how is that done? Simply ask the part of you that suffered, what it needs or wants from you. Is this logical? Nope. It is emotional. When we are dealing with an emotional problem the direct approach is to treat it emotionally.

When clients come to see us, we ask what they have tried to feel better. Many will try exercising (physical), self medicate with drugs (physical), try to be positive (mental), prayer (Spiritual), but lack using emotional tools because nobody knows them.

This is not to say that the above won’t help. Well, except for self-medicating, we feel there is a better way in treating things at the root, but learning the emotional tools is a far better way of treating the real problem.

But healing. That is what is really subject. We can do the emotional work, put our back into loving up our innermost self, but is that the only way? We say no. There are many ways to heal and it depends on what connects with you.

Some people want to avoid the inner work and want to think their way to wellness. And, they may get real success. If you only want to think your way through a problem you can go far in your healing that way. Going far is the point and only to a point will the healing take place. People can go on a great diet and exercise plan and feel physically great, but underneath it all may still be feelings of worthlessness and having no hope.

How do we heal is through our relationship with ourselves. If you can let go of the self-abuse, the self-loathing, and begin the process of treating yourself with kindness, now this can open the door to profound healing. Our slogan is, “The real issue is not your issue, the real issue is how you are with yourself while you go through the issue.” Please read that sentence a few times to fully grasp it. It took me a year because my head was so thick.

The real issue is how you are with yourself. If you are negative to yourself, you will be negative with others. If you are positive with yourself that will be reflected in your social interactions. For more peace be peaceful inside. For healing to take place allow the healing to encompass you.

We are very powerful but nobody taught us how to channel this innate energy within. People do heal and I can attest to that myself. I had a rocky childhood and as a young adult, I was a mess. If this guy could pull himself together and find a way to apply love to his hurt, I am sure that you can do it too. This is why I have been in the field for 28 years. I get to see people heal and change. And through their own efforts. You can heal too.  

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.