New Year’s Top 10 Mental Health Tips

Another new year, another new start – well that’s if we want it. Each morning we open our eyes afresh and we are the ones that hold onto the mindsets from the day before. Are they good or bad? Only you can tell. If the bad outweighs the good, here are the top ways you can put those nasty thoughts behind you and start to enjoy the unfolding of each and every day.

1. Intentions

Without a goal we simply meander around. If we intend for something to be good, we will take those steps to create that. On the other hand if we resign ourselves into believing that, no matter what we do, it will still be bad, then it will be bad.

“If you think you can, if you think you cannot, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

2. How you are with you

“The real issue is not your issue, the real issue is how you are with yourself as you go through your issue” – Drs. Ronald and Mary Hullnick

This statement was drilled into our graduate class each and every day. Things in life happen, but how are you with you when they do? If you can be gentle with yourself, regardless, you will get through each situation with class, strength, and compassion for yourself.

3. Desire or Motivation

These qualities heal. For now 28 years, I have seen people tackle some of the most difficult issues that must have been horrific to go through. My crisis work alone for 11 years had me seeing 7,000 people plus! The vast majority of them were up against incredible odds, whether it be substance use, mental illness, or even brain injuries. The ones that desired change got it! I learned that innately people are really strong, once they put their mind into it.

4. Leaning into things

Imagine you are walking down a hallway that has many doors. Each door represents an opportunity. Leaning into a door will show you if it is open to you or closed. Often people won’t try new doors due to feeling rejected. What if you tried one more door? This process of leaning in takes another skill – anticipating success. If we lean into something negatively, an open door could suddenly close because of our attitude. Act as if you will succeed. If not, there is another door to check out.

5. The law of attraction

This goes hand in hand with leaning into things. When we are down, people kick us. I’m sure you’ve heard that before. Do you know what happens when we are up? Our society thrives on down and maybe because of our bottle line make up. If we are depressed, what do they say, “Misery loves company”? If we are down and others are too, it doesn’t make us feel as bad. The conditioning of down needs to change. Do you want to bond in the drama, in the negativity, in the depression, or simply be happy? When we are up, people around us get up to. This makes us attractive, thus the law of attraction. We will attract things and people to us depending on our mood. In the dating world it is not winning the hand of the fair maiden, so to speak, it is about holding onto the love and compassion you have inside of you when you lean into that situation. More often the door opens. If not, you probably shouldn’t be with that person at all.

6. Direction

Here is something that most people fail at. Relationships fail if there isn’t a common direction. If we fail to plan we will get stuck into the same old same old and life can become predictable and boring. Having something you are passionate about in your life is what it is all about according to Dr. Rick Jenkins, formerly known as Dr. J. It is passion that gets you up each day and looking forward to life. Without passion, or the hope of ever finding one, we stagnate and falter. What is your purpose? What makes your life fun and upbeat? Here is where there can be some detrimental issues as people focus on substances to live for. Addictions like food, drugs, drinking, and cigarettes may feel good, but overall they can kill. Replacing these addictions with positive passion replaces the dependence on something physical and exchanges it for something spiritual.

7. Social Support

There has been a lot written on the importance of letting somebody in. Holding your fears and problems inside only cements them in place. Soon the problems become your normal and breaking free of the comfort zone can become a daunting task. Please, let somebody in. Let them know the hell you have been experiencing. Let it go. Share the love with them. Bond in the joy. Caroline Myss coined the term “Woundology” to depict that people will often bond in the drama. “Hey Betty, did you know that I am really ill?” “You’re ill Sue, I’ve been ill for five years and my doctors can’t find out what’s wrong.” It’s your choice to bond with others in drama or love.

8. Affirmations

Of any quick tool that I have presented throughout the years, this one is the top. Affirmations are short statements about how wonderful you are. Yes, it actually helps you focus on the beauty of who you are instead of the junk you keep dragging along with you day to day.

“I am a positive, caring, and loving man.” This was my first affirmation. Was it true? No! Did I hate repeating it? Yes! Did I continue to repeat it? Absolutely! Did I become this person? Of course I did!

These statements remind you of who you are or who you are becoming. For me, when I was in any social situation, I always made other people more important and gave them all my power. Using the affirmation internally helped me remind myself I was there too and had these wonderful qualities.  Believe it or not, you have the wonderful qualities inside of you as well.

9. Proper Communication

As you move out of the fog and interact with others, proper communication is the key. The most important communication skill is listening. This will take the pressure off of you to perform and allow you to take in what another person has to say. Even if it is something bad, listen to it and then repeat back what you heard them say.

“So Charley. If I am hearing you correctly you are saying that I am a fool, I should be sober, going to meetings, and looking for work, is that correct?” Instead of being defensive, instead of having hurt feelings and wanting to attack back, simply repeat what you heard them say. More often it is much better than that, to be honest.

10. Daily Ritual

Repeating the proper behaviors over and over again has them eventually stick. Come up with a daily routine to make yourself happy, follow your passion, include somebody in and share the love. You have it in you to be great and when the thoughts come into you head that you can’t do something. Wait a beat and do it anyway. That one step, that one more door to open may spell an incredible year for you.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.