Holiday Memories

What do you think about Christmas? For many, it fosters great memories, for others only pain. Our wish is for you to see this holiday with new eyes, letting go of the past, so you can make of it what you like.

This letting go of the past takes some effort. Processing through our pain is the key to experiencing a happy holiday. To do so, it may be as simple as putting pen to paper.

If you find yourself obsessing about something that happened in the past write about it. Even better, write out a letter to the person you are thinking about or to the younger you that experienced the situation first hand. Many people believe that things from the past should stay there, but in doing so, we only shove that experience down into our subconsciousness and after a while, there is no more room in the Inn. This is when we get angry, anxious, and depressed. Or, basically become a Grinch.

So write a letter to the people that upset you and don’t mail it, but instead rip it up. Our healing isn’t dependent on whether people say I’m sorry to us. Our healing is dependent solely on our actions alone.

Writing helps the mind process through a problem. The issues from the past that haven’t been resolved are known as “unfinished business”. If we fail to learn from an event, it has a strange way of creeping back up in our lives over and over again. To let it fully go, opposite handwriting is needed. With opposite handwriting, you have a written conversation on paper with the part of you that went through that original experience. Simply provide love and kindness to your younger self and soon the unfished business finishes.

This is the dynamic of Gestalt therapy. In Gestalt therapy, we see an issue from many perspectives. All of these perspectives give us a full picture and as a result, we can learn and grow from sometimes very painful experiences.

Oh to be young and carefree again. With all the unfinished business worked through, you have the ability to be young once again. This is what I love about the holidays. I call it the growing down process. Since Christmas is really for children, letting the inner child out becomes a ball!

When I was young we didn’t celebrate Christmas. I often watched other kids having their homes lit up with colorful lights, having a decorative tree.

Today I go see the lights, decorate my home, and tree, and celebrate Christmas in all its glory. My younger self won out and is now making up for lost fun. Believe it or not, I actually became a Santa Claus at the 4^th St Promenade in Santa Monica for a season. 

How about you? What stands out as a holiday memory for you. If you can type it out and send it to me I’d be honored. I feel that when you get into the writing process, it feels more meaningful instead of just thinking something through. I personally love the stories because I can relate to both good and bad times around the holidays. In today’s world with all the stress and all the separateness, it may be nice to purge out the frustration, get to the root and do some much-needed healing.  

What do the holidays mean to you? I feel it is a time to give, receive, acknowledge family and friends. This is the real meaning of Christmas.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to wish you love, enjoyment, and a great holiday season and for it to continue throughout the next year too.  

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.