Stretching Your Comfort Zone

With the pandemic continuing and people basically sequestered at home, it is easy to get into repetitive habits that can be hard to break. After months of doing the same patterns, doing something different, to shake up the routine, can be difficult, but is an important part of maintaining good mental health. However, this takes energy and if you haven’t pushed yourself in a long time, you consciously need to do so. Are there any things you have avoided because you just lack motivation? Now is the time to get your butt in gear because life can be short.

As clients begin to flock into our facility, we have become aware of one common theme – lack of motivation. It is as if there is a giant ball and chain that has been placed on many people and the effort to drag it around is too great, so they become easily discouraged and give up. We say – “Dare to Dream.” We also say, “Dare to take action.”

If you are waiting for something to happen in your life, you may be waiting for a long time. Get off your butt, shift into gear and get up and go. The real issue is how do you spark something in you?

I often ask people, are they a viewer or a doer? Sitting on the sidelines can be fun but it is in our own efforts that make the most impact. Can you remember the times in your life where you went after what you wanted? How did it feel to pursue your goal? Without any goals we never accomplish anything. Oh, I’ve heard it from many people that they had been disappointed too many times, so “why bother”. In Psychology, this is referred to as “Learned Helplessness.” Yes, if you continue to do the same thing in the same way, you will have the same results. Trying something different can turn something negative into a positive. The key here is “trying.”

We play a game in our workshop of shooting a basketball into a hoop. Hey, who said Psychology couldn’t be fun? There are lines to shoot from every three feet away. Take a three-foot shot and make three points, take a 15 foot shot and make 15. Participants are asked to shoot from one spot to accrue as many points as they can. Or, should I say positive points, because if you miss a shot from six feet away, you will receive negative six points. The secret to the game is to take the close shot because you will make it every time. This is a great consideration to make when you go after something new. When you break a task down into incremental steps, or what we refer to as “three-foot tosses”, your success rate increases dramatically. This is great advice when you go after a job, school, a potential mate, or whatever is important to you. In doing so you can stretch your comfort zone a little more each time. Trying to rip open the comfort zone open with a goal can flip you back into the learned helplessness mindset and cause you to simply give up once again. Be patient with yourself as you go after what you want. Create a good pace and enjoy the journey.

Try this: turn off the computer and the TV. Now what? That’s just it. Move away from the familiar distractions and be with yourself. How are you with you? Do you even know you? This is an interesting concept, especially in today’s world because with the pandemic we are forced to be around ourselves a lot. Who is the person you see in the mirror every day? Do you even like him or her? This is your primary relationship and if you don’t like you, nobody else will.

Befriending yourself is the first step towards mental wellbeing. You are stuck with you all the time and the distractions you have been using can only go so far. A fun little exercise is called Opposite Hand Writing in which you have a conversation on paper, with yourself. Your dominant hand represents the adult you now and the opposite hand represents, well it is infinite what it can represent. For example your negative self, your parent, your boss, your younger self who went through difficulty, your partner, an aspect of your personality – like the critic, or even God! Give it a try. Write out a conversation with God, if you wish, and see where that takes you.

The interesting thing about Psychology is not avoiding problems but going into them through various formats. Opposite Hand Writing has great benefits because you can see a problem now from two sides. In stepping out of our viewpoint and seeing an issue from another angle, we grow in our awareness. You are probably wondering how does this applies to motivation? Well, in supporting yourself through the befriending process, you can praise each new step you make towards a goal. Since you are the one that needs to continually push you forward. Without faith in self, again, it is easy to give up.

What have you avoided? Asking for a raise? Asking that special person out? Making amends to a long time friend or family member? If so, write out a conversation first to get some of the weird feelings off your chest, rip up the paper and discard it, and then get cracking. In the end, after accomplishing your goal, praise yourself for your actions.

The later part just mentioned is very important. As we step out of our comfort zone and do something different, it can upset our whole inner balance. We can get used to being negative, depressed, or even feeling unworthy. Self-praise can be an integral part of keeping the change that you have made because it shows yourself that you are ready for the change and to break away from the self-imposed ball and chain.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.