Happiness During the Pandemic

As a therapist, I am always asking people who are going through difficult times to find happiness within. To discover what makes them happy, and then do that. For individuals who had a difficult childhood, I ask them what made them happy when they were a child and do that, through the use of the opposite hand or opposite foot play. The model that I use is: “When love is applied to hurt, we heal.” When the pandemic hit, there was a feeling in the air that was palpable. It felt like we were all doomed. Now was the time to have a taste of my own medicine: what could I do to create happiness within myself that would pull me away from the fears I might or the people that I knew would die?

I had always tossed around the idea of writing about the comedy group that I was in some forty years ago. I don’t feel that old at 62, but forty years is a long time in the past to remember the bits that we used to do in front of sold-out crowds. Still, I had the time, was bored since many clients were avoiding treatment as they hunkered down at home, and decided to do a little research. Okay, so I contacted the three other guys that were in the comedy group to pick their brains. Suddenly, the part of my brain that had been lying dormant for years sprung into life! As I jotted down memory after memory I found myself, not only in laughter but literally having chills going down my spine! I literally laughed my way through the first three months of the pandemic.

Comedy saved my life. This is a fact. Just before we started to perform, I was sick. I was homeless, addicted to drugs, not working, and only had my bicycle for transportation. I decided to get help from an old friend, and he let me stay on his couch. In days another friend came by to cheer me up, and we decided to do something we did when we were kids – do comedy recordings. I tell people now that I laughed my way to wellness because that was what took place. With love from these two friends, I decided to remain sober, and put my life back together. Soon I was working, then went back to school – just to see if I had any brain cells left, and on the weekends began to perform with these two funny individuals.

It is interesting how, in writing this book, all the old memories came rushing back to the surface. Mostly good, however, the feelings of shame, being a loser, losing my family when I chose drug use over them, seemed to dominate my time. What started out as a project to bring me joy brought me pride. I made it through the weird thinking, the sweats, the climbing the walls because my body was craving drugs, and then peace. I can remember practice sessions in which my two friends were inspired and going a mile a minute, my speed limit at that time was like 15 mph and I just couldn’t keep up. I thought I had caused serious brain damage, which was the reason why I went back to school. When I received A’s for my two classes, I realized that my brain was fine – though my two friends would differ in that assessment.

We Love Us, And We Have Every Right To, was the name of our comedy group. Born in 1980, we did a musical comedy, which fit my strengths because I played the guitar. We’d spoof on TV commercials, songs of the era, and poked fun at the stars of the era. When I play some of our songs to my groups or friends, the older people get it, but in living in that time period, it is easier to grasp the humor. Colonial Sanders from KFC, Brooke Shield, Don King, and Johnny Cash, were a few of the people we did takes on. One thing for sure, our audiences loved our “Stray Trout Strut”.

From a small shit-kickin’ bar to a sold-out arena of over 800 people, We Love Us grew in popularity. Shoot, we even had our own comedy groupies! Eventually, my brain fog dissipated and I soon joined into the fast-paced barbs and the silliness that was a mainstay for us. We Love Us eventually added other musicians, and our musical side was as strong, or even stronger than the comical side. We figured, if we didn’t get them with humor, at least we could entertain them musically.

 

Currently, the book has been written and has been sent off to the editor, and is in its final review. Are the guys in the group happy with it? Not really. I remember watching Bohemian Rhapsody and hearing that band-approved it. Even I saw a lot of errors in that production, and the guys are seeing a lot of errors in what I wrote. In fact, one of the guys asked me why I wrote it. I had to think about it. Yes, I wrote it to distract myself from the boredom of being forced indoors, when I am an outdoors kinda guy, but the reply I gave him is that it was really for me. I couldn’t write to please them because I didn’t know-how. I tried to by softening up their characters, omitting a few personal items that they wanted to hide from the pubic, which was understandable, but when they wanted me to omit the bad things that were not politically correct in this day and age it frustrated me. Was it that important to include things now that are culturally insensitive, were in the past they were alright? The answer is no. The intention of the book is to make people laugh, so the insensitive things were camouflaged to the best of my ability or omitted.

I think that comical relief is so important in this day and age. These are serious times and a lot of people are getting sick and dying. People we know, and people we love. Our economy is suffering, hordes of people are out of work and have no income. Even parents need to be at home with their children because the schools are closed. This is not an easy time at all. It is easy to focus on the negatives, since each day they tend to mount, however, a little ray of sunshine is always a good thing. This was the intent of this book.

So, Don, Mike, and Dave, I cannot please you all. I love you all and I can’t thank you enough for helping me get out of the worst situation of my life. Alone, with no support from family and friends was my original pandemic. What I learned from that time period was to simply ask for help. What is etched clearly on my mind, was waking up on the front porch of somebody, them asking me why I was sleeping there, packing my stuff up quickly, and then sitting on a curb in Hollywood. I prayed to God for help, like I never prayed before in my life. When I make my initial intake assessments, for the past 25 plus years, I ask people about their relationship with God. You would think that the majority of people have no spiritual beliefs, especially in this day and age in which we have so many distractions. It still surprises me to discover when people are at the lowest point of their lives, the majority of people did what I did, prayed.

My church became comedy. Comedy provided such great feelings of joy and love, that it just felt that many of our bits were divinely inspired. It’s interesting that what started out as an article on the comedy book ended up talking about spirituality, but to be honest, here we are in a pandemic and death seems to be all around us. I have learned to combat this through positive feelings, which are proven to enhance the immune system. Getting people into love and joy to ward off the virus bottom-line is what this book is really all about.

So, in closing, I decided to follow my heart and write the book from my perspective. No, the other players didn’t enjoy the whole book but confessed that it brought back a lot of great memories. A few of the bits they didn’t remember – if you can keep a secret, it is because I made them up. Actually, those bits fit in perfect for the time and are better than most of the things we did anyway. I want to tell you that when Comedy by We Love Us comes out, you are guaranteed to love it.

Stay tuned. I’ll let you know when it gets published. In the meantime, make yourselves and others laugh. This world needs some levity during this most trying time.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.