Relationship with You
Our relationships reflect back to our relationship with ourselves. This is what Sigmund Freud wrote about in the 1890s. He coined the term “Projections”. Since the film projector just came out, he could see somebody projecting all of their negativity onto another person – the screen. My dad always said, “When you point your finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back to you.” If you...Learn More
Relationship Rescue
Unfortunately, we were never taught in school how to keep a relationship healthy. As with most mental health-related issues, we learned usually how to fix things by mimicking how our parents did things. If you came from a healthy home, no doubt the odds are you will be healthy in a relationship, but that doesn’t have a bearing on your partner. Paying close attention to what kind of environment...Learn More
The Blank – How Am I with Myself?
It finally happened! After years and years of writing articles, I am finally blank. Who knew? My past program clients would be in shock because after four weeks of treatment I still had things to discuss. When I was in graduate school, we used to counsel one another. By the time we graduated, we were pretty seasoned therapists and clients. Session after session, there was always something to...Learn More
Are You Surviving or Thriving?
After 28 years in the industry, I often reassess myself. This is a periodic check-in to see how I am doing. Currently very happy but why? And honestly, the answer is staying active. When I have a purpose, I do well. But this is just me. Recovery of any type is not a one size fits all. Each person is so unique that what works for one person will not for another. Thus, the personal check-in. How...Learn More
Changing for the Better
This article should be entitled personal responsibility since in changing ourselves, it has to be done by ourselves. So often people want to have others swoop in and rescue them because we feel it is their fault, they are making me feel this way, when the truth is, it is all about us. In taking personal responsibility, we are no longer victims of what others do or say. In all actuality, it is...Learn More
Rebuilding Self Worth
In 28 years, I’ve seen my fair share of broken people. Many of which I treated in an 11-year span at a Mental Health Urgent Care where I saw over 7,000 people! Across the country, 20% of the people have a mental illness that warrants serious treatment. How many of these get treatment? Only a handful. One thing I learned is that we are all the same. To some extent we all suffer from something,...Learn More
Conscious Relationships
I guess if you’ve made all the mistakes in relationships, you would be a good guide for people that are struggling. Almost marrying four times, living with partners for years, and raising a child have given me an interesting perspective on couple’s therapy. I’ve learned that there are four major elements in making a relationship successful, or in my case – manageable. Communication – If...Learn More
New Year’s Top 10 Mental Health Tips
Another new year, another new start – well that’s if we want it. Each morning we open our eyes afresh and we are the ones that hold onto the mindsets from the day before. Are they good or bad? Only you can tell. If the bad outweighs the good, here are the top ways you can put those nasty thoughts behind you and start to enjoy the unfolding of each and every day. Intentions Without a goal we...Learn More
An Illusion – External Locus of Control
Locus of control is a fancy term for who we believe is in control of us. If you are the type of person who focuses all of your attention on what other people are doing now, what they have done in the past, and what you think that they will do, you have an “External Locus of Control”. In our practice, probably 90% of those we treat are focused on the external or what we also refer to as – “The...Learn More