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Holiday Memories
What do you think about Christmas? For many, it fosters great memories, for others only pain. Our wish is for you to see this holiday with new eyes, letting go of the past, so you can make of it what you like. This letting go of the past takes some effort. Processing through our pain is the key to experiencing a happy holiday. To do so, it may be as simple as putting pen to paper. If you find...Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/an-illusion-external-locus-of-control.png)
An Illusion – External Locus of Control
Locus of control is a fancy term for who we believe is in control of us. If you are the type of person who focuses all of your attention on what other people are doing now, what they have done in the past, and what you think that they will do, you have an “External Locus of Control”. In our practice, probably 90% of those we treat are focused on the external or what we also refer to as – “The...Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/getting-socially-healthy.png)
Getting Socially Healthy
In Graduate School we were taught to take care of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs simultaneously in order for the change to stick. If we only focused on improving ourselves physically, for example, weight loss, then it will also impact the underlying mental and emotional levels causing us to be unstable and usually, we’d slide back into the same physical condition. This is...Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/getting-over-loss.png)
Getting Over Loss
Getting over the loss of somebody special is not an easy task. In graduate school, they taught us people have to feel their feelings during this period. Feeling your feelings for somebody that is not used to feeling emotions can be a difficult process. The intention of this article is to assist people who are struggling with loss to get through it. Loss can be as simple as the loss of a pet or...Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/healing-through-compassion.png)
Healing Through Compassion
Twenty-seven years in the industry and I am still learning that heart-centered listening is the best way to treat people. After thousands upon thousands of sessions, I often hear the same things, but I feel it is ultimately important to simply listen with a full heart. I teach my interns how important it is to not fix people. If we were to do this, they would be dependent on us. When you help...Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/scheduling-alone-time.png)
Scheduling Alone Time
For many people, life is but a blur. Activity, activity, and then the big crash – or is there one? Often when we are too busy it becomes difficult to unwind. Did you know that relaxation is a necessity in life? So is time away from the electronics. Do you give yourself time to simply let your mind go to where it wants to go? It’s true that Psychology is the study of relationships, but have we...Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/three-foot-tosses.png)
Three Foot Tosses for Mindfulness
We play a basketball game in our program where people are asked to take three shots from a marker that is three, six, nine, twelve, or fifteen feet away from the basketball hoop. When you sink a basket, you make positive points, if you miss, you make negative points. The point of the game is to make the most positive points you can. Each marker is equivalent to the number of points you make....Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/sadness.png)
Sadness
If you suffer from depression, it can be debilitating. No energy, no motivation, feeling helpless, hopeless, and worthless. Even when I was working with megastars in Malibu who was well known around the world, even they would feel this way. One day I was shocked when one told me, “I want what you have – your peace”. How do we get the peace we desire? How does energy come back? How does...Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/helping-our-children.png)
Helping our Children
The pandemic has wreaked havoc on our nation in many ways. Now the latest report is the devastation it has caused for our children. For a child to grow up normally, they need love and attention from their primary caregivers – usually their parents, they need to have fun, and they need their social needs met. Object Relations Theory states that all mental illness has its root in early childhood...Learn More![](https://basicsteps.life/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/anxiety-friend-or-foe.png)