News and Insights

Maybe this article should be titled, “Get off your ifs, ands, and buts.” This week had one theme – the trouble with communication, or lack thereof. In meeting with couples and families, my common message has always been, finding a way for the message sent to be received. It takes effort for the communicator to present information to another person in a manner that they can accept. For example,...

Have you ever been at a crossroads in your life? When we are faced with making a decision to do one thing or another, it could be very difficult. Then the “what ifs” begin. This happens when we are faced with a new job, leaving a current relationship, or even starting one, also with addiction our inner battle will rage over whether to stop using or not. When faced with a difficult decision,...

We joked about enlightenment in graduate school. Many in our ranks bragged about reaching that state and our teacher said, “If you think you are enlightened, go home for the holidays.” Better face it, there will always be issues. Therefore, the only way to breeze through them is to create a good relationship with yourself. Yes, I’ve heard it for almost 29 years, that it is selfish or...

Is it that time of year already to set plans and never follow through on them? I tried to set New Year’s resolutions years ago and only got disappointed in myself. They were fun to think about but achieving them wasn’t obtainable in my mind, so I failed to go after them. I learned that it took a wholesale change in myself to change anything in my life and the first step was creating an...

Just reading the word dentist has caused a shiver to run through me ever since I was a kid. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had hours and hours of drilling and extractions, and I’ve made my way through it, but it still causes me anxiety. It helps that my best friend is my dentist, so I trust his expertise, but that still doesn’t mean that those ancient fears go away. My father had to have his...

Whether you are in a good or bad relationship, it is important to know about the emotional bank account. I ask you, in your current relationship are you making deposits or withdrawals? Healthier relationships tend to have more of a positive balance. What are deposits into the bank account? A deposit could be simply avoiding your cell phone or an incoming call and focusing on being with your...

Whether you suffer from depression, anxiety, mood swings, anger, or substance use, the most important element is befriending it. This may sound rather bizarre since this society basically tries to avoid issues in hopes of them going away. I ask you has it? Our repeating problems are repeating for a reason. In learning from and befriending an ailment we can release it.   What does befriending...

If you have the opportunity, a great book to read is “Love, Miracles, and Medicine” by Dr. Bernie Segal. He helped people with advanced cases of cancer heal and sometimes without medical interventions. He advocated having the desire to live. There aren’t a lot of clinical books on the value of hope, but with hope, we can suffer through a lot and make it to the other side. In the book, “Man’s...

The rising rates of suicide are alarming. Already in the state of Washington, there have been over 1,200 people who have taken their life. What if a person you knew told you they wanted to kill themselves? I worked at a crisis center for 11 years and dealt with people who were suicidal on a daily basis and here are the important steps to take. Ask them if they were thinking about killing...

A rainbow followed me as I drove to work this morning. The morning before my father’s memorial celebration. He lived a good 90 years and seemed to have a good life. I came to love my father after the rocky start of his abuse in my younger years. Because of this I went through extensive therapy and was then able to confront him as an adult. From that moment we began to build a wonderful...