News and Insights

I’ve learned a few rather obscure tools in the 29 years I have been practicing psychotherapy. I guess the most obscure tool is from Family Systems Therapy designed by Virgina Satir. There are more common approaches that lean on the obscure side and my favorite would be from Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). NLP addresses our inner aspects or sub-personalities. I’m sure you are aware of that...

Anxiety, even the word causes us to hold our breath. Did you know that holding your breath is at the root of the disorder? Holding one’s breath causes the oxygen levels in the body to lower, making the heart work harder and the mind to lose clarity. The antidote is of course breathing, especially deep breathing while anxiety is occurring. What causes a person to stop breathing, or not breathe...

Maybe this article should be titled, “Get off your ifs, ands, and buts.” This week had one theme – the trouble with communication, or lack thereof. In meeting with couples and families, my common message has always been, finding a way for the message sent to be received. It takes effort for the communicator to present information to another person in a manner that they can accept. For example,...

Have you ever been at a crossroads in your life? When we are faced with making a decision to do one thing or another, it could be very difficult. Then the “what ifs” begin. This happens when we are faced with a new job, leaving a current relationship, or even starting one, also with addiction our inner battle will rage over whether to stop using or not. When faced with a difficult decision,...

We joked about enlightenment in graduate school. Many in our ranks bragged about reaching that state and our teacher said, “If you think you are enlightened, go home for the holidays.” Better face it, there will always be issues. Therefore, the only way to breeze through them is to create a good relationship with yourself. Yes, I’ve heard it for almost 29 years, that it is selfish or...

Is it that time of year already to set plans and never follow through on them? I tried to set New Year’s resolutions years ago and only got disappointed in myself. They were fun to think about but achieving them wasn’t obtainable in my mind, so I failed to go after them. I learned that it took a wholesale change in myself to change anything in my life and the first step was creating an...

Just reading the word dentist has caused a shiver to run through me ever since I was a kid. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had hours and hours of drilling and extractions, and I’ve made my way through it, but it still causes me anxiety. It helps that my best friend is my dentist, so I trust his expertise, but that still doesn’t mean that those ancient fears go away. My father had to have his...

Whether you are in a good or bad relationship, it is important to know about the emotional bank account. I ask you, in your current relationship are you making deposits or withdrawals? Healthier relationships tend to have more of a positive balance. What are deposits into the bank account? A deposit could be simply avoiding your cell phone or an incoming call and focusing on being with your...

Whether you suffer from depression, anxiety, mood swings, anger, or substance use, the most important element is befriending it. This may sound rather bizarre since this society basically tries to avoid issues in hopes of them going away. I ask you has it? Our repeating problems are repeating for a reason. In learning from and befriending an ailment we can release it.   What does befriending...

If you have the opportunity, a great book to read is “Love, Miracles, and Medicine” by Dr. Bernie Segal. He helped people with advanced cases of cancer heal and sometimes without medical interventions. He advocated having the desire to live. There aren’t a lot of clinical books on the value of hope, but with hope, we can suffer through a lot and make it to the other side. In the book, “Man’s...