Have You Avoided Therapy for Years? by Dr. Scott Alpert

Have You Avoided Therapy for Years?

April 15, 2025 by Scott Alpert Resource 0 comments

Years ago I saw a billboard that said “We cater to dental chickens.” Did chickens have teeth? I was confused. I asked a friend, who laughed at me. Of course, this was in my substance use years, but as my mind cleared, all I did was laugh at myself. I was going to title this article, “Catering to Therapy Chickens,” but knowing my state of mind back then I decided to play it straight.

If you have needed counseling and avoided it for years, you are not alone. Patients have told me they have needed therapy for 10 years or more but waited until it got so bad for them that they could barely function. The main fact is – things do not get better naturally, they tend to get worse.

The Benefit of Problems

We have problems for a reason. Because we learn from them. Life is all about trial and error and if we refuse to try and try again, we can get stuck. I believe that therapy is learning to take one more additional step. If we fail to move forward we can get stuck in horrible states of self-doubt, self-hate, feeling like a victim, or feeling such shame we feel like we are flawed and should have never been born. For me, I had to go to therapy because my intense fear dominated every moment of my life.

Our problems are there for a reason. When we solve them, they are gone for good. If we don’t, our problems have a way of returning to us over and over again. Haven’t you noticed this?

I studied Spiritual Psychology because I had no beliefs about life or death. The coursework there changed my life forever in such an amazing way I can actually say I am filled with peace and am a happy man. Why I waited so long to provide myself with relief was understandable – knowing how much fear and lack of trust I had. “What are they going to do to me?” Was the only thing I focused on. However, I knew that I had to let somebody in because life as I knew it was torture and it wasn’t changing on its own.

I think what really shocked me during my first counseling session was how the counselor was really interested in me. Suddenly somebody was there who really cared. No lecture, no shaming. Shoot, I talked about a lot of things I felt ashamed about: how I used drugs, introduced my younger brother to them, my angry fits, how I used friends and family, and all my counselor did was have compassion for me. Well, that was new.

I think what scared me the most about attending therapy was thinking my counselor would make me take medication. Medication was the farthest thing from my mind – given all the drugs I self-medicated with. I didn’t want to get trapped in substance use ever again, now that my brain was on the mend – even if it was short-circuiting at times. What I wanted was someone to point me in the right direction or listen to my woes like she was doing. When I exited the office I felt better just by talking about things to someone I didn’t even know.

And yes, there is such a thing as a “Talking Cure.” Getting things off of your chest feels good, though this is just one small element in the scheme of therapy. I chose the right college. It sent me on a path of self-discovery that was unsurpassed. At the University of Santa Monica, I studied Spiritual Psychology because of my fear of death. Maybe, I thought, this university could help me have some faith because, at the time, life to me was a death sentence. Well, all I can say is that university was school the way you always wished it would be.

In school, we learned different counseling approaches and practiced on one another. After a few years of therapy there, I became more confident, could talk in front of over 200 people, could go on airplanes and elevators, be in a crowd, and talk to women who terrified me up to that point. I feared them judging me but in school learned they weren’t judging me – I was.

I think because of what I went through in beginning my own self-care, I tend to take extra care of people who enter treatment after years of hesitating about it. It isn’t uncommon for a person to bring in a friend, partner, or family member with them to help with their initial session. I can relate. I remember after my first few sessions, I attended a personal growth seminar and all I wanted to do was hide behind another participant that was as large as a building. But I somehow survived and realized that I needed to continue on this path because I was healing so much.

Recommendations

Now, for people who have avoided treatment, here is what is recommended:

1. Find a counselor you can trust and feel safe with.

To do this, check out their background. Find their website and read about how they treat patients. If no website, psychologytoday.com is a great resource and lists hundreds of therapists and their bios.

Check out their reviews. Clients who have good or bad treatment experiences often feel compelled to write about it. Also, give that counselor a call and get a sense of them during your conversation.

2. Find out their credentials.

How long have they been in the industry? Are they licensed? Do they have experience in treating what you are going through? What are the methods that they use? Ask them to explain this to you.

I believe that once you talk to a person, you will know if you feel comfortable with them. If you find yourself guarded or unsure, it may not be a match.

3. What is their healing theory?

In graduate school, we were asked to create our own theory of counseling – basically, what were the elements that we believed were important? Mine is basically the same as it has been for 30 years – a focus on our emotional well-being and how “love applied to hurt” heals.

Boy, have I tested this – especially at the Mental Health Urgent Care Center where people were in crisis. Spiritual Psychology is the psychology of love. I’ve seen love heal thousands of people for one reason – we cannot shame a person into getting better. How can darkness applied to darkness bring light? Love heals, I practice that, I’ve seen miraculous results, and I base my entire practice on it.

4. Cost.

Is the counselor affordable? Do they take your insurance? Do they offer a sliding scale if the cost is too much for you?

I’d like to say that expensive therapy doesn’t always mean it is better therapy. It just means it costs more. I stay in the mid to lower range to make sure people can afford what I provide. I used to charge $175 when I first started – for an hour of counseling, but lowered it to $125 to make sure that people could afford me.

I had a comment on FaceBook years ago where someone thought I was in this for the money. I laughed. I opened this facility 7 years ago by using my retirement funds. Money is not why I am in the industry, but simply to pass on the knowledge I learned in school and in the years in this industry. In our IOP program clients are trained to be a counselor and at the end of treatment do our self-counseling exercise and counsel themselves. School cost me over $50,000 and I offer the same information for $3,800 in our IOP. To me, that is unheard of anywhere in the recovery industry and priceless!

My advice is to do some research. Educate yourself on possible counselors. Let’s face it, my approach, or even myself isn’t for everybody and I can’t please 100% of the people out there – nor do I try. I’ve battled back from mental illness, substance dependence, and childhood trauma, so I tend to specialize in these areas. People that have been there make the best healers. Shoot, I saw this film, “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead,” about a man who lost hundreds of pounds through juicing. He traveled by car from Florida to Hollywood, California, and talked to obese people, like he had been, about juicing throughout the journey. It is very inspirational and brought me to tears. He was well-versed in changing his life and had a passion for helping others who were obese.

Now, I ask you to take a look at yourself. Ask yourself if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and want to make the change for the better.

If you have any questions, give us a call or leave a comment on our web page. You don’t need to suffer alone anymore. Somehow, with all my anxiety I had the courage to sit down in that first counseling office and look where that one step brought me.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry. We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.