Continuing coursework is crucial for people working in the mental health field. For me personally, I get bored presenting the same information over and over again, so I am always in search of information and techniques that grab my attention. To be honest, I get pretty giddy when something comes along that intuitively I know will be of great help. Sometimes I review approaches or periodicals just to make sure what I am presenting hasn’t strayed away from the intent of the people or person that presented the approach originally.  

I have learned that psychology is not a one-size-fits-all approach and what works for one person may not work for the next. I have also learned that it is important to not blame the client if they don’t make any effort, or understand an approach. What is then needed is for me to present it in a different way that makes sense to them. With each clunk, I take it as an opportunity to get more information, look at the assumptions I may be making, and correct them. Psychology is a two-way street, the clients learn the way they do and it is for me to learn the proper way to present what I do that is understandable and inspiring.

To accomplish this I do my homework and read, and read, and read. I learned this from the top Psychiatrist in the state of California, where he headed all of the state hospitals, saw our clients at the Mental Health Urgent Care Center, still had time to see his own private clients, and there wasn’t a second where he didn’t have his nose in some technical manual.

I was talking about the book, “The Four Agreements” to our group this past week, and was hazy on one of the agreements, so I decided to read it again and was blown away. I originally read it 25 years ago, but not with the same clarity I have today. This makes sense since when I normally read something, it takes a few re-reads for me to fully grasp the concept. This worked well for me in college, and upon reading it this time I got inspired all over again.

In a nutshell, the book talks about the agreements we make with ourselves regarding life, situations, and interacting with others. There is a big spiritual element that sees life as an energetic exchange of either darkness or light. As we stay in the light, and communicate from that place, we pass along that light to others, though when we stay in a dark mood, we send poison to others and it can limit their growth and potential. Unfortunately, we live in a world based on fear and doubt, and darkness is ingrained into us all. Breaking away from this conditioning is what this book is all about.

Here are the Four Agreements:

1. Be impeccable with your word.

If you are going to say something, say it in the positive. Our words are our power and we can wield either light or dark. When we put somebody down with our words we are using our darkness. When we pick somebody up with our words, we are sending them our light. When we are conscious, meaning that when we are aware of the tone at which we are operating, it is natural to be helpful and caring. Unconsciousness leads to death and destruction.

2. Don’t take things personally.

Psychologically speaking, we are mirrors of one another. When somebody is pointing their finger at you and putting you down, according to my father, three fingers are pointing back to them. How would they know you are an idiot unless they are an idiot too? Misery loves company, so their darkness is where they currently are. Now if you take their darkness to heart, it shows you that you have bought into what they tell you because you believe what they are telling you is true. When this happens, you have some work to do on building yourself up because of your own negative mindset.