I can’t believe it, but I began writing another book. Even though I am in the middle of professionally recording my music, you would think that I didn’t have much time to do anything else. All I know is that for the last few days, I’ve had this nagging voice inside of me that had another agenda, writing another book.  

Over 20 years ago, I came up with a process called Opposite Hand Play. It basically involves using your opposite hand to represent the younger part inside of you that went through difficulty and doing fun activities with the younger self in order to create a self-bond. This exercise is a twist on Opposite Hand Writing where on paper, you have conversations with your younger self by alternating hands on paper. Your dominant hand represents you now and the opposite hand represents the younger you. At the time I was learning this, I just figured that if I am allowing my younger self to communicate with me with the opposite hand, why not allow him to do some playing this way?  

Children often work out things through play. Not having the wiring for complex thinking until the age of eight when our brain initially wires, kids replay the events in their life to try to make sense of them. Some will hit others, some act out sexually because they received this treatment. In using opposite hand play, we meet the part inside of us that so long ago went through difficulty and can try to help it work things out through the playing format.

Maybe I could get a Nobel Prize for this innovation? Would you believe a hardy handshake and a bowl of steam? Would you believe a certificate that I printed out for myself? Oh well..

With Spiritual Psychology, we believe – “When love is applied to hurt, we heal.” This was the slogan of my university. Do you know how great it felt when mommy kissed your boo-boo? Well, at least I do. In a sense, as you practice play therapy on yourself, you become the new mom to you and get to kiss your own boo-boo. Sounds weird? Well, it is. Thus is the language of emotions. We cannot think our way out of an emotional wound. We sometimes need to play our way out of it. After I devised my play strategy, I began to have a great time healing because I was doing so by climbing trees, going skiing, riding my bike, and playing board games using my opposite hand and opposite foot. Each time my opposite hand or foot did something, I would praise my younger self. Thus, love is applied to hurt.

Hey, you might not think that this is innovative, but because I am making it praiseworthy, then I believe it. This is also the mindset of healing. If we praise ourselves, it demonstrates to our weakest parts that we are still lovable and worthy. So, in my mind I am being recognized by the Nobel Society, and actually wearing a suit to accept the prize.  

Every day you can devise new and wonderful ways in which you can play with your hurt. First, ride back a current raw emotion to where it came from. Simply let your mind reflect on a time when you started feeling this way. Next communicate with your younger self through the opposite hand writing to find out what he or she wants to do to feel better, then follow through on this request in a timely manner. If you fail to follow through on the request, you risk abandoning yourself like others have abandoned you and make matters worse.

Opposite hand play brings fun into emotional healing. What did you like to do when you were growing up? The next step is using your other hand, or your other foot, and have some fun. I’ve especially loved going bowling with the other hand. Playing miniature golf the other way is excellent. Brushing your teeth with the other hand, holding a doll, eating with your other hand, and for the ladies – putting on makeup with your other hand. Well, I know some men who put on makeup, in fact, one psychiatrist that I worked with did so and believed a little makeup would be great for everybody.  

As you go above and beyond in your normal self-care, understand that you are making an effort to be kind to yourself. How wonderful is that? How often have you made the effort to improve you? Granted, this isn’t improving yourself physically – though there is physical exertion involved. This is more of an emotional effort in which you are basically growing down, and getting jiggy with it, as my first supervisor used to always say. I say embrace the weird.

Years ago, a client at the residential treatment facility I was running handed me free-form writing that was all scribbles. I gave him an odd look. Free-form writing is simply writing out your feelings on paper and then discarding it to purge the negativity from your mind. The man told me that his teenage self was upset and he used his opposite hand to do the free-form writing. “Pretty crafty,” I smiled at him.

Losing it or not, I am now engaged in another book, but I plan to do this project at a slower pace. Perhaps writing out a few pages every other day, or only after I have put down some musical tracks on my computer. I know that I need to balance out both projects and still keep enough time to practice proper self-care. If that is possible.

Try it out. Ask your child self what they would like to do and do it, using the opposite hand, of course. You would be surprised how rewarding doing this makes you feel.

I’ll end with a story.   

For over 30 years, I’ve nurtured a relationship with my youngermost self. At first, it was all about tree climbing and going on the swings at the park. I made a commitment to check in with my younger self three times a day at first, in order to fully bond with him – but basically myself. I needed to do so in order to address the darker issues from my past without my younger self getting freaked out.  At first, it was me dealing with a young boy, but eventually, the boy grew up and it became more of a friendship, though at times the young child does appear. That younger self showed himself at a very trying time in my life.

I had a close friend who was in hospice care and was very close to death. I did opposite hand writing with my sad inner child and asked him what we should do on an upcoming visit. It was apparent that my friend was days away from death and I was clueless on what to do. The conversation flowed very well between little Scotty and myself and he brought up something unusual. “Why don’t we bring the guitar and play him some songs?” Where did this idea come from? It was outside the box and much better than the flowers I thought I should bring him. So, with guitar in hand, I entered his room, only to find him semiconscious on the bed. I began playing songs that we used to play together on our guitars. Suddenly, he came out of his stupor, raised his head at me, and smiled. I was shocked. I had been visiting him for a month and never got this reaction. Three days later he passed without gaining consciousness again.

Also, consider adding Play Therapy to your list of to-dos for mental health. In my practice, it has and continues to show amazing results, and I am hopeful this type of work keeps growing.