Have you ever felt like you are destined to deal with the same issues over and over again, to the point where you just give up hope for anything better to happen? That used to describe me in dealing with my anxiety. I just assumed that everyone had to deal with anxiety, you know, cope with it forever. In this article, I’ll discuss ways to push past, heal, and move forward.

I’ve looked at my past addiction and problems with panic attacks as huge blessings. You may wonder how anybody could even think this way, but if it weren’t for these ailments I wouldn’t have gone through treatment, nor the school I attended, and grown to the point I was helping others do the same. In my treatment, a whole new world opened up to me and over 10,000 others, since I am the type of person that likes to share the wealth. How could problems become a blessing? It is when you take the action steps to move beyond it.

The famed Dr. Bernie Siegel, the author of the book “Love, Medicine, and Miracles”, was the graduation speaker at the University of Santa Monica when I received my master’s degree in Counseling Psychology. In his commencement speech, he wished pain upon us all. He believed that pain is a great motivator for change since he saw the patients he treated take action upon feeling it. The same can be said of mental illness and debilitating substance use. I for one know that when I found myself homeless, sitting on a gutter in Hollywood, and made the decision to stop using because I was sick of that lifestyle.

Motivation is the first step to change. Without the desire, we will remain stuck. How we go about changing becomes super important because if the actions we take create no or little results, why bother? However in order to change it is very important to have an open mind.

Many people come into the program at Basic Steps Mental Health with preconceived notions. Used to the 12 Steps or some behavioral approach they see on television it can be a bit confusing when they are shown numerous tools and approaches that treat something physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Yes, this is the new way of treating a problem but when you come down to the basics, if you only focus on being sober (the physical), it will put you out of balance mentally and emotionally. The holistic approach is critical if you want to break free and create a lasting change.

After motivation then the next step is befriending yourself. Even if you think you are the worst person in the world who hasn’t the right to be happy – and to be honest, I have worked with a lot of people that have felt that way, it is important to at least try to get along with yourself because it is the relationship you have with yourself that will either make or break you. Why don’t you feel worthy enough to heal? When did you start feeling this way? Maybe somebody told you that you were bad or less than others. If you took this to heart, then take a moment to look realistically at the person who told you off. Were they perfect? Or, perhaps they were upset and treating you like they treat themselves? Often I ask people if this person was God. If God tells you you are horrible – which I don’t believe God would ever do – then maybe you could take it to heart. I myself believe in an unconditionally loving God who wants the best for us.

The 12 Steps believe that “A power greater than ourselves will restore us back to sanity.” This is their version of a spiritual program. Spiritual Psychology believes that in our action steps, God is with us each step of the way. Thus, in our program, we see God as helping us through our actions – which is more of an active spirituality.