Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place?

Have you ever been at a crossroads in your life? When we are faced with making a decision to do one thing or another, it could be very difficult. Then the “what ifs” begin. This happens when we are faced with a new job, leaving a current relationship, or even starting one, also with addiction our inner battle will rage over whether to stop using or not. When faced with a difficult decision, Psychosynthesis may be the approach you need.

Psychosynthesis is an older approach to therapy, created in the early 1900s. Their approach uses a lot of visualization exercises, but one approach, of addressing “Dichotomies” or polar opposites, was given a Spiritual Psychology upgrade utilizing a Gestalt empty chair approach and is very useful. Two chairs are placed facing one another and a client is asked to sit in one that will voice one point of view and asked to tell it’s side of the situation, then the client is asked to switch chairs and talk back to that perspective using the other point of view. Psychodrama is a great emotional tool to access our underlying feelings.

Recently this was used with a person who was struggling with smoking cigarettes in the group. One part of them was sick of smoking and wanted to stop, while the other was hanging on to the pacifier that got them through life’s difficulties. Then the magic began.

Often our thoughts and feelings aren’t given an opportunity to really express themselves. When we really share to the nth point our perspectives, it can be eye-opening. In this format, both perspectives are given the opportunity to work through an issue together and come up with a solution, or sometimes a compromise. In the above example, the problem the person was having was really with detoxing. Stopping any addiction abruptly can cause a person real physical problems, so a cutting-down approach was agreed upon.

 

 

Spiritually speaking, when we come to a crossroads in life, it doesn’t matter which path you choose because there will be growth opportunities regardless. So, I ask you, do you want your lessons to be harsh, or do you want them to be more empowering? For example, if a person decides they want to continue to drink, thereby losing their relationship and job, and finding themselves homeless, there is going to be a lot of learning going on that path. Stopping the use, I have to admit isn’t easy, but I tell clients if I could do it, anybody can.

I encourage people to allow the perspective that they want to triumph to say the last word. This approach works great with Opposite Hand Writing (OHW). OHW allows you to have a conversation on paper where your dominant hand represents the perspective that you want to triumph and the opposite hand represents the other. Keep the power, say the last word, and come up with a solution that is mutually agreed upon by both perspectives. If you try to tell the limiting perspective what you want it to do, this won’t work. The other perspective has been doing this for too long and it is natural to your system. But, in the mediation process something is fully agreed upon, then success is more likely.

Since Psychosynthesis works with visualization, this can be included in the process, too. Once the solution is agreed upon, visualize yourself following through on the agreement. The interesting thing about visualization is that imagination fires up the same centers in the brain that are active when you were actually doing something. Top athletes do this, in fact, we do this naturally. Has there been a time when you just knew something great was going to happen and it does?

Here’s something that happened to me.

Years ago, I wanted to be a professional baseball player. I played in a Semi-Pro league and it wasn’t all fun and games as it had been growing up, but I did my best to make it fun. Well, that was before I faced this fireballer who hurled the ball around 90 MPH! Yeah, suddenly shit became real serious. In my mind, I knew that I had to make a showing to all the scouts who showed up to watch this guy. He was throwing at least 10 MPH faster than anyone I had ever faced before. Still, something inside of me said to give it your best so I dug into the batter’s box and tried to see the ball coming out of his hand like I normally did. His first pitch hissed through the air and I felt the heat of it as it slammed into the catcher’s mitt causing dust to fly out. He caught it with a grunt. “Strike one!” the umpire shouted. My heart raced. This wasn’t what I signed up for and my knees started to shake. The catcher noticed and started to chuckle. Okay, so I am going to have to speed up everything, I thought as the pitcher released his next pitch at my head and I backed away. Wouldn’t you know that the ball curved over the plate? “Strike two!” the umpire barked. Well, now I looked like a fool, but I wasn’t done yet. I knew deep down that this guy was going to throw a fastball to the outside corner of the plate and I was ready for it. As he went into his windup, I began my swing. It was now or never. The ball came whizzing to toward the plate and crack! I smacked that ball down the right-field line for a double. I knew I could, saw it happening before it took place, and then stood grinning as I stood on the second base bag.

I hope these tips are helpful to you. Great luck with your upcoming decisions. May the part you want to succeed do so.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.

May you have good mental health.