Tis’ the Season for Depression

Welcome to the holiday season. If you’ve had issues in the past, they tend to surface this period of time. Remembrances of family, relationships, friends can stir up a lot of difficult emotions and memories. In school, they would say, “If you think you are enlightened, wait till you go home for Thanksgiving.”

Using the holiday season as a healing journey can be empowering. Avoiding these feelings can only make matters worse since undigested emotions tend to play out in our dreams. That is why we dream in the first place. They are like a release valve for issues that we have had throughout the day. Take it from someone who knows, when a memory surfaces, I need to take quick action in order to get restful and healing sleep.

If a situation bubbles to the surface, it is because it is ready to be healed. You don’t have to go searching for issues to process through, they will simply appear and will continue to do so during the holidays especially.

Talk about the experience to someone, that should help. If you don’t have someone you can open up to, write it out as a letter to the person, or simply jot down your thoughts. All writing must be discarded because if we reread it, we will only get triggered again. Our healing is dependent only on our actions and not in another person saying I’m sorry. If you are waiting for that, you might be waiting for your whole life. Take action when things come to mind and go from your gut. Sometimes it can be an opportunity to give that old friend or family member a call. The interesting thing is that they may be thinking about you too.

We do a hug meditation each morning in our group. We start off with a physical hug to ourselves, to fill up our tank, then one by one, bring to mind people that we love and give them mental hugs. It is simply visualizing that they are in your arms. They could be alive or dead. On some level, they will feel it because we also have energetic bonds. Have you thought about someone and a minute later they call? Coincidence?

What is important during the holidays is to consider yourself. If it was the perfect holiday, what would be going on? List this out. The possibilities are endless. Next, one by one do the most important items first, then if time permits, add on the rest. Set an example in your holiday season and avoid waiting for others to make things happen. If you want it, go after it, otherwise, the holiday season will be all for naught and another reason to be miserable. Even if it is just you by yourself, decorate your home, light some candles, and write out holiday cards.

 

 

What I love about this time of year is my favorite holiday – Halloween. Oh yes, it is not religious, so there is less arguing about whose beliefs are better than another, you get to dress up and play make-believe, and yes for an entire day I get to be Spiderman, and it is seen as something acceptable. If I were to dress this way for work, my clients might… Well, they might actually enjoy it, who knows? However, if I were to walk around the market in costume, I would sure get a lot of looks. Then again, I have seen things more outrageous in Seattle anyway, so never mind.

The holidays can be both good and bad. If you are having a difficult time please don’t judge yourself. You simply have the opportunity to ride back the feeling to when it started, interact with the younger part of you that went through the experience through conversation and play, and apply love to that hurt in order to heal. This is the new psychology called Spiritual Psychology. It is the belief that when love is applied to hurt, we heal. Call around and ask a potential therapist what their theory of healing is and you will get a wide variety of responses. If their approach makes sense then you have found a good match.

At the Mental Health Urgent Care center, I worked at for 11 years, I used that model exclusively and had amazing results in crisis situations. It is as if the mind will freefall if it doesn’t have anything to latch onto when overwhelmed. All I asked people to do was hold onto the part of them that experienced the trauma. Occasionally I would place my hand on their shoulder for support.

Some days I miss the down-in-the-trenches treatment I provided to over 7,000 people there, but then again, I like the peaceful environment that I work in now at the Basic Steps Mental Health clinic. The holidays at the crisis center were amazing! Especially when we dressed up for Halloween and did some Karaoke singing!

You have the opportunity to make the holiday’s something memorable. Here is what I suggest. When a thought comes to you about the holidays, do something with it. Your first response may be to back down, and rationalize why you can’t do it, but these thoughts are surfacing because a part within you wants to do that, so why not go with it? Being spontaneous has a lot of advantages as you attempt to enjoy the holiday season and also your life.

I’ll leave with a little story. When I started to really work on myself, I went to a seminar called Insight, it was for personal growth and I was introduced to inner child work. For me, it was a godsend because my issues started in early childhood when I experienced a lot of trauma. There was this floral warehouse in Pasadena that changed to a Christmas store during the holidays, so I decided to travel to it and with inner child in hand, we walked into the store. The door opened to an incredible environment, like Disneyland, where trees were decorated, little house villages were set up, and I walked around like a little kid grabbing ornament after ornament for my Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Then there he was Santa Clause. I waited in line, like all the little kids, and sat on his lap. Or, half sat, I was bigger than the grandfather and supported my weight. My wish was for peace. Not world peace, but inner peace. Santa was great. All he said to me was, “That is a big order, but I’ll see what I can do. What I need you to do is drink your milk, eat your vegetables, and listen to what your folks say.” He had his training, I have mine.

Happy holidays.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry. We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.