The Three Foot Plan

Excited, I grabbed the basketball and toed the marker some 12 feet away from the basket. Same game, different environment. I was standing in front of my classmates at the University of Santa Monica, the graduate school where I studied Spiritual Psychology. It wasn’t new for me to shoot in front of a lot of people. I had once shot at halftime at a Lakers game at the Forum in from of 17,505 screaming fans. On that occasion, I wooed the crowd with my talents and won $100. At school, I was going to win the grand prize of hugs from all the pretty girls that lined the roped-off area.

I eyed the basket, took in a breath, and let it fly. Clunk. Right off the front of the rim. Embarrassed, I had two more shots to take. This time I eyed the back of the rim, tossed it up, and swished it home. A few people were surprised. So, with the ball in hand, I confidently shot it the third time and missed everything. Thus, my basketball career in graduate school fell in a heap of embarrassment.

Each student took their chances in trying to amass the highest point total of three shots. At 12 feet, I was going for 12 points for a make or suffer minus 12 points for a miss. Obviously, I didn’t win another $100. Do you know who won? The smallest girl in class. She stood at the three-foot line and sank every shot. A whopping 9 points! And that was the point of the exercise – each task we are engaged in needs to be broken down into incremental 3-foot tosses.

If you are busy, avoid the 30-foot bomb. That is when you try to accomplish everything at the same time. Now if you had 30 heads and 60 arms, you could probably accomplish that, but if you break things down into easy steps, plus try to enjoy yourself at the same time, you will get things done and feel happy and healthy in the pursuit.

 

 

Many people seek therapy for overwhelm. They are busy at work, busy when they get home, and rarely have the time for their own self-care. If this was done backwards, where you are taking care of yourself first, then family, then work, things may work out much better for you overall.

Why do you push yourself so hard? I often asked myself this same question as I worked full-time, went to school full-time, and tried to please my fiancé, which was another full-time job. Was there time for self-care then? No. So, I began suffering panic attacks and was constantly in overwhelm. If you are not taking care of yourself, you cannot take care of others. It was frustrating when my partner invited me to family functions and birthday parties but I was too anxious to join her. This marked the beginning of the end for us because I worked too much and studied all the time. In the end, she told me that she didn’t want to marry a pool cleaner. Sad, but true.

I didn’t blame her. It wasn’t that at all. I had no time for her, let alone time for myself. I learned to prioritize things in my life and make myself the most important priority of all. My schedule needed adjustment and I began to relax, eat better, record my notes, and listen to them as I hiked in the woods. That first semester, I got all A’s! A first!

If you are over-busy, write out everything you need to do in a given week. Then look at the list and prioritize it. Which ones are the most important? Put an A next to them. Those which are secondary, place a B next to them. The C list is things that are not important and can be left for the moment to focus strictly on the A’s and B’s. The A’s go first and create a step-by-step 3-foot plan for each of them. Then follow the plan. May I suggest that when you are following the plan, monitor yourself? Relax, praise yourself, and be your own best friend. I could remember times when I was writing my doctoral dissertation and I just wanted to give up! I would tell myself, “I quit!” So, that’s what I did. I quit, turned off the computer, went outside, and walked around the neighborhood. Once back home, I asked myself, “Ready to get going again?” and I did.

We choose to stop, we choose to go forward. I kept thinking if I took one more step to accomplish something, then I’d give it one additional step. This usually did the trick.

I look back now and can’t believe that I did it, but in all truth, I had bought into my self-change and was running with the plan. All I needed to do was grab the basketball, toe the three-foot line, and slam dunk the ball three times!

Safe journey, and keep on shooting.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry. We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.