Developmental Psychology

When I started in the field as a counselor, my supervisor Marie preached about understanding where a person was developmentally. Working with the learning disabled you’d see an adult and then realize they operated as a child.

Up to this point, I understood that early childhood trauma caused mental illness later in life. It was in our early years we tried to create a strong sense of self. If abused or neglected our development was hampered. Though, my focus had always been targeted to the early stages, as I deal with older clients the developmental focus changes.

Many of my older clients have had amazing lives. The majority of these people had created a persona, had mostly a work identity, had a vibrant and functional body, then changes started to take place and what once was taken for granted was now getting stripped away. The job ended, supportive friends and family members were gone, the body going through changes, and familiar habits that got them through are of no interest anymore.

With spiritual psychology, the main slogan is: “The real issue is not your issue, the real issue is how you relate to yourself as you go through the issue.” As these people face their decline, then how are they with themselves?

Whether you are 10 years old or 90, the same rule applies. It has been easy for me to identify with people up to my age, almost 65 because I have gone through that developmental period. Beyond this, I am in unknown territory and rely strictly on what clients tell me of their experiences.  

As a supervisor of new interns, I teach these budding therapists the ups and downs of the industry, how to have compassion, and be a good listener. The new students that do well have basically been there and gone through it before. They may have suffered abuse or had a substance use problem. Those who have been there making the greatest healers, but what if you haven’t?

The field of psychology is an interesting one because you get to face yourself in many different disguises. The tortured child, the man that needs to be in control, the woman who has been abandoned. Keeping an open mind in dealing with areas of unknown makes the practice of psychology new and exciting if the therapist can let go of preconceived notions and take in what a client has to say.  

 

 

I love following Erick Erickson’s stages of development model. Later in his career, he lectured on the last stage of development, “Integrity vs. Despair” and believed we went through all the stages of development at that time.  

As my clientele grows older, I am forced to face challenges with them that are very difficult for me. The mere fact that many are facing death and it is a subject they can no longer sluff off has been probably my biggest adjustment.

I am the type that likes to dive into subjects that are unknown and even upsetting. Death for example has had me reading a lot of books on dying, reincarnation, and near-death experiences. This scared me and made me uncomfortable to read at first, but after the initial shock, I found more and more peace with the subject.  

I don’t understand why people say death is a part of life because it isn’t. Death is death, though each person is entitled to their own beliefs on the subject. It seems more natural on some level that the elderly, faced with insurmountable odds would consider suicide. Even clients that I have seen that were in the later stages of AIDS contemplated death but never wanted to willingly do it because each moment of life became so important. However, those who believe they are too old to do something meaningful in their lives saddens me.

My friend, Albert Saparoff, lived to be 94. Up until the end, he was writing mental health books. His last book was touching upon an interesting subject where he was advocating music for healing. He did some research and discovered that certain musical tones affected certain areas in the body. One thing I can say about Albert, was up to the end he continued to be a real goofball.

My grandmother refused to grow up, always keeping alive her teenage self and she lived to be 99! I learned that if we think we are old, we are. If we think we are young, we will be, from her.

The real issue is how we are with ourselves at all times. Do we believe there is hope? If so, we can get through things. Both of my parents are in nursing homes right now. Mom has hope, and Dad? Well, it’s hard to know because he goes in and out of reality. What they are facing is a different set of variables I am facing in my life stage currently.  All I can do is root them on and support them and support you.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry. We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.