A Client Returns

A client I had seen five years ago came in for a court assessment. The case was pending since that time and this report was to bring it to a close. One thing for certain was the person had completely changed.

As a therapist, you treat people, let them go, and in my case rarely see them again. If they return or call and say hi, it is a bonus. The key is to not get attached to the outcomes of treatment. If you do, it can lead to burnout. I’ve learned in my 28 years in the field to do my 100% and let it go. All I can do is point out the direction, load them up with plenty of tools, and hope they live a more functional life. But that is on them, I cannot and will not live their lives for them. I’m too much to handle by myself anyway.

We have a slogan: High involvement and Low attachment. This means that as a helper, do your 100% and then let it go. All we can do is our very best at that moment and that moment is now over.

To the counselors who are entering the field, know that every person is in charge of themselves. Whether their actions are good or bad determines their next action steps. If something bad happens due to their actions and they repeat that behavior, we therapists aren’t to blame. They are repeating these actions because they feel it is their best option. We aren’t here to shame people, we can simply explore other options for them to take and find out if they are willing to do them. But, if the person changes their behaviors and obtains better results, that is called growth. Therapists can’t claim that they caused the growth, we didn’t do those actions, the person did! Therefore, it is important to praise people for their new behaviors and their better results.

I think that the biggest kick I get out of the field, besides old clients returning and sharing great news, is when people share our approach with others. The tools of our program are not that difficult, well except for Neuro-Linguistic Programming’s Aspect work. Now that approach takes some practice, but once mastered it becomes one of the best. The majority of our program is learning easy-to-follow tools that when incorporated into one’s life, change is inevitable.

 

 

At times I feel like a lone wolf in the desert as I share about this Spiritual Psychology approach. I was shocked to learn how clinical the approach was when I entered graduate school. I was always the type that didn’t want to follow what the crowd was doing and Spiritual Psychology sounded way off the normal path, therefore I was all for it! On the first day, I realized that it wasn’t meditating all day or going on silent retreats where people would wash your feet, you were literally learning to master 11 psychological approaches that people in the industry use regularly.

“How many counselors does it take to change a lightbulb?” My teacher asked. “None. The lightbulb has all the resources within it to change,” they replied. I know. I had to put up with their humor for four wonderful years. Everybody does have the resources within themselves to heal and it is for us to show them the tools in which to do so.

It was wonderful hearing the great news from this client. Bought a new house, the son growing up, brother married, helping with cat adoptions. This helped me get through a difficult period with my father being close to death after celebrating his 90^th birthday. Mr. Disneyland, since he worked there for twelve years and used to take me and my family in through the back entrances, meet his coworkers, and let us in on the latest gossip in the park. This has been a week of my appreciating all the people I deem as family, including old clients.

So dad, thank you for being a wonderful friend, helping me work through the issues that took place in my early childhood, and being a man about it. What I learned from you is people can change, enjoy life, and live to the ripe age of 90.

My father is leaving behind five children, and joining his wife who passed from Covid two years ago.

May he rest in peace.  

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry. We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.