How Is Your Inner Child Doing?

The approach that had the greatest impact on me was Reparenting work, where you actually become the new mom and dad to your wounded self. When I was a child, it wasn’t much fun, especially when my bully of a father came home. At that moment playtime and peace were over and you prayed he wouldn’t take your head off.

According to Object Relations Therapy, mental illness has its roots in early childhood experiences. If we don’t tend to the horde of negative experiences we pushed down into our subconscious mind, then anger, anxiety, and panic can not only result, but be regular occurrences when we grow up.

How are you with your younger self? I often ask this of groups. Many look at me like a dog hearing a strange sound, but to us therapists it is an important question to ask.

Do you ride yourself hard? Are you frustrated with yourself? Are you frustrated with others? If you answered yes to any of these, some growing down is in order. Growing down is basically getting in touch with the younger part inside of you, talking to him or her, playing with him or her, but ultimately loving him or her, but how is this done?

I remember working with a gentleman at the Mental Health Urgent Care Center who was really excited about doing the opposite handwriting conversations with his younger self and doing the opposite hand and foot play that was advised. He returned after a month and I remembered him and asked how he was doing with the inner work. His reply was it was great. When I pushed and asked him how often he did so and he told me just once. Yeah, one time doesn’t cut it since this tool is called reparenting, and once you open up this channel you’ve got to keep things going. If you’ve ever raised a child it isn’t only one time you tell a child something, if they get it after 50 times you’re lucky!

Reparenting. Believe it or not, reparenting can actually be fun. When was the last time you went bowling? Try doing so using the opposite hand. Sound funny? It is. But aren’t you worth it?

We make believe that other people are going to fix us. When they say they are sorry then I will be better. Let me break the bad news to you, this doesn’t happen. You need to come to terms with the past, so why not interact with the part of you that went through that experience and especially have some fun in the process?

Yeah, I guess part of my job is play therapy. We sing Karaoke here, draw, and use Play-Doh, with of course the opposite hand. Holding the microphone with the other hand of course. Who knew that these activities can have such a drastic impact?

Spiritual Psychology is the psychology of applying love to hurt. This is revolutionary in the business. We can talk about how your mother screwed you up and retrigger those wounds, or simply love on that younger part that is still stuck there.

You thought that if you didn’t address something it would just go away. When you start doing this work you realize that that isn’t true. Words do harm us and our words and actions to ourselves can heal.

When I first began doing reparenting exercises on myself, my younger self wanted to have fun on the swings and climb trees. I bet you could imagine the looks I got from people at the playground and while hiking. “Why is that man up in the trees mommy?” I could answer that – because this man was having fun and honoring the wishes of his younger self.

In my darkest times, I pull my inner self in close. At the dentist, in a crowd, when violent people come in for a session, then it is me tending to my younger self and keeping him safe.

I remember traveling to New York and taking the Subway down to old Yankee Stadium. Come on, what do baseball fans do when they visit that city, they pay homage to all the old greats. Now Yankee Stadium had a little area that the stadium spilled out onto and people were packed together like sardines! I heard people complaining and feeling claustrophobic. I turned to my younger self. “Hey buddy how are you doing?” “Great!” was the reply. “I am at Yankee Stadium!”

Give it a try. Or, check out the book “The Wisdom of your Opposite Hand.” Or, check out my book, “Self Helping”, found on Amazon. You will learn more in-depth, how to do this amazing work.

Give a big hug to your inner child for me.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.