Full Circle

This week was my father’s 90^th birthday. He and I had been on quite a journey together. At first, things were horrible. I later found out that he was going through a horrible marriage, realized that his wife was interested in another man, and didn’t know what to do with his feelings. He broke things, furniture, walls, and almost me in the process. A month later he was gone.

What does a young child do with all of that? I grew up with a beast of a man, who appeared to be 20 feet tall! I was jumpy, nervous all the time, and peed in my bed till I was almost a teen.

Therapy in my day wasn’t considered. You had a problem, you figured it out. My mother and Stepdad didn’t talk about feelings. You needed to be happy, do things for others, and play pretend that this situation was all behind you, which it wasn’t.

When anybody was angry, I shut down inside. If there was a fight to happen in school, I would run. Growing up in the inner city there was a lot of fighting, so I began to be a pretty good athlete. Unfortunately, my past I couldn’t run away from.

I didn’t want to go through therapy because that was what sick people did. Well, at least that was the message I got at home and with my friends. I began to tolerate my anxiety, figuring everybody had it so I just had to learn to cope. When the panic attacks began, I forced myself to do so.

This is the story I heard repeated by countless others. They too have tolerated dreadful conditions. It was almost as if it was their lot as if God somehow was punishing them for something they may have done to bring this condition on.

I fought to stay in the counseling room when every fiber inside of me wanted to run. Maybe I felt that this woman was going to be a bully to me too subconsciously. For whatever reason I remained, cried, told her things that I had suffered, and slowly the can of worms was coming out.

It took me some practice as I learned Spiritual Psychology to address this problem at the root. Talking to a therapist before helped me purge my feelings, but the scar had remained. My fellow students and I practiced this new approach on each other that address an emotional wound emotionally. I was hooked! I worked on the core issue with dedication and love. I got in touch with my younger self who experienced all the horrors and gave him love and attention. It turned out that the non-action I was used to had done more damage than the abuse. It was as if I had been abandoning myself. So with extra care, I scooped up my younger self, did exercises with him daily, and began to experience my anxiety fade away.

Then it was time. I had avoided my father for years. I had always been too scared in his presence and did what I was taught to do and run away from the situation. Now was the time I faced my fear, address the bully and stop all the avoidance.

I love my father. When confronted he was gracious, apologetic, and wanted to make amends. I learned about his life, what he went through and realized that if that was me, I might have done the same thing. His loving kindness and pure desire to have me back in his life won me over.

I’ve had some wonderful times with my reclaimed father. 90 years old is a lot! I had written before about the passing of my stepfather recently. He was the man that raised me and I referred to as my real dad. Though, in all truth, I had two. My natural father took on more of a friend status and still does to this day.

I am grateful to Spiritual Psychology for bringing my natural father back to me. It is going to be a great celebration later on this evening as we Zoom in the 90s for him.

I am grateful to my father for one very important thing. In Spiritual Psychology, we see problems as a blessing for learning and growth. I am grateful because I learned how to grow from tragedy. I learned to care about others going through the same problems in life that I had. I am grateful that I get to spend my time each day being of help because each time a little part of me I get to handle.

May my father have more incredible years of health and love. 

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.