Coping with Anxiety

At the University of Santa Monica, where I studied Spiritual Psychology, they believed that applying love to anxiety made it fade away and we would truly heal. On paper and in real life it has been a difficult task. I entered therapy to tackle my problems with anxiety and the mere task of addressing anxiety – which was something I had avoided like the plague, has caused me even more anxiety. Well, that was in the beginning. Addressing anxiety has lessened it greatly but I have to admit that it is still there. Healing anxiety? I wasn’t sure it could be done. So, for me, it was more or less coping with it.

I have realized that the articles I have written lately have pertained to the struggles I have been having in my life. So, today’s article is in that same vein, it is in regards to a recent trip I had that had me confronting one of my biggest fears serious illness.

About 20 years ago a friend of mine went through open-heart surgery after he was in a high-altitude city. He stated that something was just not right with his heart and he checked into the hospital. Hearing him tell me this had me worrying. I wondered if that too would happen to me. After this, each time I was in a high-altitude situation I would become anxious. Can you see what a single thought can create? His plight got me scared for my life and had done so for years. Then recently I had some friends visiting that wanted to go into the Cascades and in the back of my mind I knew we would be at high altitude and my nerves began to stir.

What I appreciate about learning psychology is having an arsenal of tools that I can use on myself, but after using the same coping skills for a long time, sometimes they don’t do the trick. So I knew that I would need to bear down and use other tools and combine them with things I had been reading or picked up naturally in counseling others throughout the years.

According to Herbert Benson’s book, “The Relaxation Response,” he proved that when we are relaxed anxiety goes away. As I drove, my first intention was to be as relaxed as I could be. Well, have you ever had to drive on winding roads, with a lot of traffic around who seem to be sniffing your tailgate? Relaxation was thrown out the window as I turned on my defroster due to the fog I was creating. I suddenly realized that my mind was focusing on the worst things that can happen. Sound familiar? In focusing on the worst things, my emotions were believing that those bad things were actually happening right now! Thanks a lot, brain.

In Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now”, he proposed that if we stay in the here and now we are fine. At this point, it became a battle of staying present which reduced my anxiety in half. Quickly I was perfectly fine. My car was running great. My tires were firmly on the road. I had ample gas in the tank. And my health felt great. I knew it was a simple matter of keeping my emotions under wraps. Easy at first, but still troubled down deep.  

At the university, they were into “Intention Setting”. Basically, before you do anything it is important to claim what you desire. “My intention is ______” is the format. So, I set intentions of driving safe, having a shield around my car so that I could drive in a safety pocket, also to relax, and actually enjoy the ride. So that’s what I did and as I watched the elevation rise and rise I became centered on the present and achieving my intentions.

It is interesting what your mind can do. I had trained my mind to focus on all the bad things that could happen since I was a kid, that’s what I learned from my parents and society. What is the worst thing that can happen? I hate that statement because it has caused me hours of fear and hopelessness. I decided to focus on what was the best thing that can happen. My intention was to be happy, excited in seeing the wonderful fall colors and beauty of the Cascade Mountains that I had rarely seen and became emotional. This is really an incredible place. Once over the pass I was suddenly headed downhill and forced myself to relax, be at ease and continue enjoying myself. My God does Highway 2 have elevation changes. 

Recently I went on a plane trip to and from Southern California and the elevation changes in the plane had no impact on me. That thought hit me hard. I was fine and these fears were silly. I wasn’t a man in his 80’s with clogged arteries. I was younger, healthier, and stronger than he was. But I still wasn’t out of the woods quite yet because emotional ailments can get a bit tricky.

As old beliefs normally do, my emotions started to stir again. I am well aware of the wiring that goes on in our brains. If you are used to thinking a certain way for 20 years your brain wires to support these thoughts and they can be automatic. Like clockwork, the old fears began to creep up. So the next tool I turned to was setting a positive affirmation. Affirmations are basically statements you recite that focus on three qualities that you want to take place in your life. Mine was, “I am strong, courageous, and happy.” This statement I kept ruminating within my head I drove down the pass. I kept it to myself as to not dampen the spirits of my co-travelers. The affirmation, intentions, staying in the here and now, and the self-praise – which I didn’t mention spurred me on to my final destination. Wow was I impressed. Self-praise is simply a reward we give ourselves since rewarded behaviors are often repeated.

When we arrived at our destination I was impressed with myself. That’s okay to do, especially after you address a problem that you have had and overcame it. I realized that we had just been on an incredible drive! And this was just the start of the adventure we had trails to hike and pictures to take.

Throughout the day I kept reminding myself how pleased I was with myself. This had been a long-term problem that I really took the upper hand with and it worked out great. As a result, I am planning to visit the Cascades soon because there is so much to take in and I really felt at peace there.

Compassionate Care is Always Available

There are many more tools and strategies you can use in your pursuit of happiness. Here is where we come in. Contact us at Basic Steps Mental Health and let us support and educate you on this journey back to your loving heart center. Imagine living a heart-centered life, regardless of what is happening externally. We’d love to be of help.

For 25 years, Dr. Scott Alpert, the clinical director of Basic Steps Mental Health, has treated over 7,000 people with mental health and addiction problems, using a Psychological approach that mixes and matches ten of the top approaches used in the industry.  We are here virtually and in-person to help you get through this COVID-19 pandemic and many other difficulties you may be experiencing.

May you have good mental health.